TPO-17 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better then they really are.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by daryash72 on Tue, 09/18/2018 - 12:16

The most products have lots of problem and not suit to everyone, but the advertisement of them show it very powerful and very stunning, so all the people like it, and that’s the benefit of advertising of products to show it on a better way and it’s not important are they enough good or not. In my opinion, it's a big lie, and the companies shouldn’t do it.

First of all, an important thing is how much customers have satisfied of that goods. For example, the advertisement of cosmetic products is show them very fabulous and all of them same from the top one and the cheapest one, makes you sparkle, because they show a beautiful girl and they pretend that girl use that product and because of that products she’s so gorgeous, but the fact is that products can’t make me that much beautiful. The other thing that I really want to discuss about is my second idea that why I really disagree with advertisements, so I should say; some of the products are not work that they show in the Television, for example, slimming products always not work for large sizes more than XL, that’s really disappointment moment for these women when they buy it and they couldn’t wear it.

Second, behind of all disadvantages, it has some advantages too, because I couldn’t regret all the benefits of companies. The companies should make money to get progress on their job. Profitability is the most important for business companies, and the mangers can buy new branches to make more money and get famous in the world, like as Dior company’’ all the people in the world know it but it’s expensive products that just some people can afford it but it has lots of fan that love it, such as me. Their advertisement shows their cosmetic, perfume and dresses on beautiful mannequin’s body but it has size for other people too. Therefore, that’s a huge interesting part of this brand.

In conclusion, business ads have own rules and figures, to motivate people to buy that products without thinking, but people should decide on logical decision making.

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Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 24, Rule ID: LOTS_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: 'lots of problems'.
Suggestion: lots of problems
The most products have lots of problem and not suit to everyone, but the adver...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 318, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...they enough good or not. In my opinion, its a big lie, and the companies shouldn&ap...
^^^
Line 3, column 41, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...First of all, an important thing is how much customers have satisfied of that goods....
^^^^
Line 3, column 581, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...e with advertisements, so I should say; some of the products are not work that they show in...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 484, Rule ID: LOTS_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun fan seems to be countable; consider using: 'lots of fans'.
Suggestion: lots of fans
...st some people can afford it but it has lots of fan that love it, such as me. Their adverti...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ld decide on logical decision making.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, so, therefore, for example, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1747.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 357.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89355742297 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34677393335 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94574275386 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.504201680672 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 525.6 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.6003584229 53% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 122.748685001 48.9658058833 251% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 158.818181818 100.406767564 158% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.4545454545 20.6045352989 158% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0909090909 5.45110844103 185% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138119423633 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0497271909825 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0477297028158 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0828568896878 0.150856017488 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0579761013248 0.0645574589148 90% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 11.7677419355 151% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 86.8835125448 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.