TPO 21 – taks 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate with other people is more important than studying hard in school.
In today's world, social skills are vital for success. How we relate with others can have significant effects on both our personal and professional life. Some insightful people agree that the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard at school; some others, however, disagree. From my perspective, I approve the statement based on the following substantial reasons.
First and foremost, teamwork is an indisputable requirement for success. With cooperation and teamwork, employees in a company can increase their productivity and overall efficiency. The more productive the company is, the more successful and satisfied the employees are. The veracity of this claim can be evaluated through a meticulous observation on the mass of examples; all well-known companies send their employees to teamwork workshops or training courses at universities to assist them improve their skills. In summary, teamwork aids people to relate well and reach success.
Second, in order to communicate well with others, people should be tolerant. When a person goes to work in a company, he or she has to contact people with distinct background, culture, language, and thoughts. Therefore, he or she must be tolerant to avoid contentions and debates. If a person treats other persons arrogantly, they do not respect and work with him. No matter how erudite the person might be and how hard he studied at school, if he fails to relate well with other, the manager will fire him.
Last but not least, although some sophisticated people may assert that a knowledgeable and expert person would be more successful in his career, I think that a considerate and sensitive person would prosper faster in his career and reach the top lines in his career. The person might brag about his knowledge and intelligence and make other employees seem stupid. Moreover, a considerate worker might be willing to change his schedule to accommodate another worker's emergency. Such manners would be more appreciated than good scores at school and smartness in every occupation. Therefore, since a sensitive and considerate person can relate with other people better, he would be more successful in his job.
All in all, although some sophisticated people may prove that studding hard in school is more important, I reiterate that personality and social skills contribute more to success in a future job.
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flaws:
Don't put:
some sophisticated people
Some insightful people
simply: some people
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1957 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.096 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.802 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.416 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5