TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

Preparation for adult life is a very important part of our liver. All parents want to provide for their children enough knowledge and experience to ensure that children will have a good life. Some people believe that if parents encourage their children to take a part-time job, it will prepare them for adult life; others disagree. Even though some people might find idea that children should take a part-job is awful, because children will get pressure on work. In my view, idea that children get a part-time job is excelent for two important reasons.

The main reason that children get a lot of different experience on the work. Doing job children get knowledge which he even didn't get in a school such as working in a team, communication with customers and partners. For instance, my friend, Vladimir, worked as a waiter at the italian restaurant to cover the university's tuition. He worked ten hours per week and make enough money not only to pay for his eduaction but also on his own project. My friend is very intelligent and talanted person but he had one huge drawback, it was difficult for him to speak with other people. By doing his work he got accustomed to speaking with different people such as visitors, supervisor or other waiters. After he droped his work, he started his own buiseness in IT field. And he often has to speak with investors and his experience helps him to do that. This example clearly illustrate how part-job prepare for the adult life.

Another important reason is that part-time job motivate sudent to learn and study better. All part-time jobs that unskilled, young children could take have a small salary, as a result, children will realise that in order to get a well-paid job he has to study better. For instance, my classmate, Zakhar, worker as a housekeeper in the hotel. He were earning small salary and hated his job. He realised that with his salary he don't have the future. He started to code by himself after his work. He bought a lot of books to improve his skills and increase the amount of his knowledges. He worked at the hotel until his programing skill became so profesional that he was able to find a job in the international company with good salary, medical insurence and long vacations. Now, he is earning ten times more than it was before and he is doing the job that he likes. As you can see, part-time job motivates to study better.

In conclusion, part-time job prepares children to adult life. It not only gives a lot of different experience for children, but also motivates them to study. That's why all parents should encourage children to take a part-time job.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ob children get knowledge which he even didnt get in a school such as working in a te...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 346, Rule ID: PERS_PRONOUN_AGREEMENT_SENT_START[5]
Message: Use third-person verb with 'He': 'is' or 'was'.
Suggestion: is; was
...orker as a housekeeper in the hotel. He were earning small salary and hated his job....
^^^^
Line 5, column 427, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ob. He realised that with his salary he dont have the future. He started to code by ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 449, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ith his salary he dont have the future. He started to code by himself after his wo...
^^
Line 5, column 495, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...rted to code by himself after his work. He bought a lot of books to improve his sk...
^^
Line 5, column 585, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... increase the amount of his knowledges. He worked at the hotel until his programin...
^^
Line 5, column 922, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...art-time job motivates to study better. In conclusion, part-time job prepares ch...
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Line 7, column 159, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...dren, but also motivates them to study. Thats why all parents should encourage childr...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, well, as to, for instance, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2174.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 460.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72608695652 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5676075821 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469565217391 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 675.9 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.6942657074 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.5185185185 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.037037037 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.44444444444 5.45110844103 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271175740883 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101404629138 0.076458572812 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0897228129802 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215971544914 0.150856017488 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0861011494627 0.0645574589148 133% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.