TPO 30 task 2
One of the most important aspects in our lives is work. Everyone should choose whatever suit his or her life whether working shorter hours with whole week or longer hours with few days a week. Personally, I would rather work long hours for only few days a week because of the following reasons.
First, working only few days a week enables me to spend more time with my family. I or my husband can stay all the week with the kids; we do not need to send them to a day care which costs us a lot; we can take care of them if they got sick. For instance, I work three days from Monday to Wednesday, and my husband works from Thursday until Saturday. By this way we stay with kids the whole week looking after them well, saving money which we can use later in a trip or participating in some activities for kids.
Second, wording only three days a week frees up more time to be used in completing some errands. I can go shopping which would be easier than doing that after a tiring work day. I can clean the house or fixing some broken things at home. Also I can study to qualify my degree as a foreign pharmacist. For instance, I like to study at the morning after a good night of sleeping because that enables me to focus and concentrate well. However it would be difficult to study after work even if it is only few hours since my mind would be tired and exhausted. Having days without work enables me to arrange my life better and do some tasks in more convenient and comfortable way.
Finally, having free days would help me enjoy my life. I can sleep at morning until ten or eleven pm, I can stay late at night watching movies or TV, I can attend some school activities to support my kids, more over I can go to trips without needing to take vacation from work. Once, my family and I went to New York for four days, which were enough to see all sites that we wanted to see, and I did not need to take a vacation which is sometime difficult to take it from work. Therefore, more free time from work, more enjoyable and pleasant time with family or doing what I like.
To sum up, depending on people condition, everyone choose what is suitable and what fits his or her life. Personally, I prefer long hours with few days for better arranging of my life. I can spend more time with kids, do some necessary tasks, and enjoy my life in a better way.
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suit his or her life whether working shorter hours with whole week or longer hours with few days a week.
suit his or her life either working shorter hours with whole week or longer hours with few days a week. //either ....or...
depending on people condition, everyone choose what is suitable
depending on people's condition, everyone chooses what is suitable
flaws:
1. No. of Words: 449 while No. of Different Words: 196 //needs less sentences or words but express same ideas
2. More compound or complex sentences wanted. Don't always use 'you, I, they' as the subject of a sentence. like:
I can sleep at morning until ten or eleven pm,
I can stay late at night watching movies or TV,
I can attend some school activities to support my kids, more over
I can go to trips without needing to take vacation from work.
*** Check and read articles online about advanced essay writing.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 449 350
No. of Characters: 1850 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.603 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.12 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.138 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.381 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.534 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5