TPO 35
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no shortage of opinion about privacy of superstars and sportmen. In my opinion, being isolated from the public has several drawback, which means they should stay as how they are today. I feel this way for two main reasons, and I will explore in the subsuquent paragraphs.
Firstly, reputation and range of supporters of prominent people are associated with relation between public and them because people support them by considering about things which is unrelated to idols' aptitide and success such as attitude towards their fan. If these things are ignored, fan base will decline in number. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. Last year, I went to meeting arranged by Mongolian rapper, and started respecting him in light of how he respected his listeners. Meanwhile, I had not appreciated his songs because I considered him as bad influence on me. If the rapper had not organized meeting with his supporter, many people including me would have not become his followers. Drawing from my own experience, public meeting is good opportunity for renowned individuals to attract more people.
Secondly, performers and sport players are motivated by their followers when they meet with them in person. Supporters express their gratitude when they see people whom they admire or respect. To be more specific, people show their approval for notable individuals in many ways such as telling in person or social platform. Therefore, body of famous athletes and entertainers are encouraged because opinion of community tends to be positive. Afterwards, they will improve the quality of job since they know many people admire them and are expecting agreeable performances. In conclusion, eminent professionals and artists take advantage on opinion of public by being more open to them.
Finally, playing in advertisement which is possible livelihood since companies promise magnitude of money to involve them in advertising. This is significant chance of obtaining more cash, especially in developing nation such as Mongolia. If prominent sport and art performers prefer seclusion to benefiting other matters, they will lose important source of income. As a consequence, they will lose possible opportunity to improve their situation.
To sum up, deserving seclusion may pose some difficulty including less income, trivial range of supporter and being unmotivated because celebrated men or women will avoid advertising, meeting and conversations respectively.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 125, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun drawback seems to be countable; consider using: 'several drawbacks'.
Suggestion: several drawbacks
...ion, being isolated from the public has several drawback, which means they should stay as how th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, i feel, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2148.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 396.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.42424242424 4.8611393121 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94291503499 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.585858585859 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.3433316944 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.285714286 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8571428571 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.19047619048 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.125995125156 0.236089414692 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0364292308692 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0281020693507 0.0737576698707 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0629966071429 0.150856017488 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0305887772711 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 10.9000537634 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.31 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.