TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, all psychologists concur that rewarding and encouraging systems work better than punishment systems whether in schools or workplace. When a person gets rewards even a small reward for his or her endeavor, he or she feels good and put more effort into his or her work. In contrast, punishing a person because of his or her mistakes despair the person and hamper him or her to try more. This subject significantly matters in an educational system. The school-age children need to be rewarded for their achievements by their teacher or parents. The rewards that are given by parents can be a small amount of money. In my perspective, giving children money as a reward due to their high marks is beneficial because of two reasons which I will explore them in the following essay.

First of all, as I mentioned earlier in the previous paragraph, rewarding money can be taken into account as a positive feedback to what children have done. In this case, the children try to study hard to earn more money and buy something that they dream about. However, it is noteworthy to mention that if the children are spoiled, that is they have had everything that they have asked for in their life, rewarding money does not work at all because the children feel that they are provided everything by parents as soon as they ask, hence, they do not need to hard study in order to earn and save money to buy it by themselves.

Secondly, when children are given money because of their effort, they value the money earned more, thus, they do not waste it to buy junk. They know how much effort they have put into and know that earning money is not easy. Therefore, they subconsciously learn how to spend their money and buy things that they really need. My own experience is a good example for this case. When I saved all money that I was rewarded for two years, then, I bought an iPad for myself which I really needed at the time.

To sum up, I believe that giving money as a reward to school-age children, in case that they are not spoiled, is advantageous. Apart from motivating them to try more, they learn how to save money and also, perceive the real value of money that they have worked for it.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 457, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed for two years, then, I bought an iPad for myself which I really needed at the ...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'really', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'thus', 'apart from', 'in contrast', 'first of all', 'to sum up']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.18119266055 0.229887763892 79% => OK
Verbs: 0.199541284404 0.158761421928 126% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0596330275229 0.0866891130778 69% => OK
Adverbs: 0.052752293578 0.046263068375 114% => OK
Pronouns: 0.110091743119 0.0685040099705 161% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.130733944954 0.118717715034 110% => OK
Participles: 0.0504587155963 0.0351676179071 143% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.47935361735 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0366972477064 0.0309702414327 118% => OK
Particles: 0.00229357798165 0.00188951952338 121% => OK
Determiners: 0.0642201834862 0.0887237588012 72% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00688073394495 0.0209618222197 33% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0229357798165 0.0139019557991 165% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2197.0 2387.08602151 92% => OK
No of words: 395.0 408.028673835 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56202531646 5.86048508987 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.48200974243 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.26582278481 0.338922669872 78% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.19746835443 0.251872472559 78% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.13164556962 0.174417080927 75% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0835443037975 0.112833075102 74% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47935361735 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46582278481 0.524397521467 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.7219727707 59.2087087015 84% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6684587814 82% => OK
Sentence length: 23.2352941176 20.5533526081 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.8766436584 48.84282405 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.235294118 120.699889404 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2352941176 20.5533526081 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.941176470588 0.644075263715 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.54480286738 18% => OK
Readability: 42.9821295607 45.7405998639 94% => OK
Elegance: 1.0 1.45489161554 69% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25105830873 0.300154397459 84% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.16298850783 0.103427244359 158% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.135883312004 0.0752933317313 180% => Ideas in sentences are similar.
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.507714806883 0.497263757937 102% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.182062466081 0.151897553556 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10688149485 0.114077575197 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0552419600254 0.0781384742642 71% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.411735293654 0.336927656856 122% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0735032540853 0.067059652881 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187751279503 0.210909579961 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0164366809308 0.0618886996521 27% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.91756272401 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 14.0 8.42114695341 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.6433691756 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.