TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Parents behavior about the children have a crucial role in their success in the future.In my opinion,giving money for every good grades that kids take in school is not a good idea and it spoils them and makes them demanding.
First of all, children have to know that study is their job and they are responsible for that .So they have to know any score that they receive is the result of their practice and hardworking .I think it is a good idea to encourage them to try their best in every subject to have more achievements but giving money to every good grade make them spoiled. They think that they study for their parents not themselves .Moreover this rewards make them demanding and after a while they want more for every grade .However they have to know if they want to be successful in future, they have to study hard in school.
Furthermore, students in school compare themselves with other students.If some parents encourage their children for good grade by money other students think of that as a rule and this put lots of pressure on the families, specially the ones with lots of kids or not wealthy.I think raising students expectation harm the society as well.
Lastly, good grade is the result of endeavor and it is better to encourage that instead of grades. Students have to learn their perseverance and hardworking is important not just grades.This way they will be more successful and independent in the future .
In conclusion, although some believe it is a good idea to give money to kids for their good marks in school to encourage them, I think it will spoil them and makes them demanding and dependent. Therefore, to raise a responsible and hardwoking and independent children, it is better to encourage their endeavor not their marks.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 88, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: In
...ial role in their success in the future.In my opinion,giving money for every good ...
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Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , giving
...heir success in the future.In my opinion,giving money for every good grades that kids t...
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Line 2, column 94, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ir job and they are responsible for that .So they have to know any score that they...
^^
Line 2, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
... job and they are responsible for that .So they have to know any score that they r...
^^
Line 2, column 191, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...result of their practice and hardworking .I think it is a good idea to encourage t...
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Line 2, column 193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: I
...sult of their practice and hardworking .I think it is a good idea to encourage th...
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Line 2, column 413, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...y study for their parents not themselves .Moreover this rewards make them demandin...
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Line 2, column 415, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Moreover
...study for their parents not themselves .Moreover this rewards make them demanding and af...
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Line 2, column 415, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...study for their parents not themselves .Moreover this rewards make them demanding and af...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 505, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...r a while they want more for every grade .However they have to know if they want t...
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Line 2, column 507, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: However
...a while they want more for every grade .However they have to know if they want to be su...
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Line 2, column 507, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...a while they want more for every grade .However they have to know if they want to be su...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 563, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...e to know if they want to be successful in future, they have to study hard in school. Fu...
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Line 3, column 71, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: If
... compare themselves with other students.If some parents encourage their children f...
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Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: I
...e ones with lots of kids or not wealthy.I think raising students expectation harm...
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Line 3, column 290, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
... of kids or not wealthy.I think raising students expectation harm the society as well. ...
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Line 4, column 186, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: This
...ardworking is important not just grades.This way they will be more successful and in...
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Line 4, column 253, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...successful and independent in the future . In conclusion, although some believe i...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, moreover, so, therefore, well, while, i think, in conclusion, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1457.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 306.0 407.700716846 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7614379085 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6171417163 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 131.0 212.727598566 62% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.428104575163 0.524837075471 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 445.5 618.680645161 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 20.6003584229 39% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 20.1344086022 189% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 86.4186756436 48.9658058833 176% => OK
Chars per sentence: 182.125 100.406767564 181% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.25 20.6045352989 186% => OK
Discourse Markers: 16.875 5.45110844103 310% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.5376344086 325% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294657794416 0.236089414692 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.144967914409 0.076458572812 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0555684047999 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178249617146 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0489486388214 0.0645574589148 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.1 11.7677419355 171% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.37 58.1214874552 71% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.9 10.1575268817 166% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.92 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 86.8835125448 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 27.0 10.002688172 270% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 17.2 10.0537634409 171% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 10.247311828 166% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.