TPO 40: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people believe that money is not a good form of rewording for the children; others disagree with this. In my view, I think that parent should give money as a present for their children better result. I think this way for two most important reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First of all, during schooling period, every student need some money for their personal work; getting as a gift from their parent fulfill their want. Young student some time want to buy something for themselves such as cricket ball, football, story books, and comics. As they have no other way to get those money, they are trying very hard to get good position in their school to achieve gift from parents. My own experience is a compelling example of this. I remember, when I was class three, I borrowed a story book from my friend, Korim. But, he took away this book after three day, and I wanted to buy this book. As I was only 10 and always felt shy to ask money from my father, so I did not able to have that book. Fortunately, I ranked first in class 4, and my father gave me 100 Tk as a gift. This money was very important for my life by several ways; next day I went to the village market and bought 3 story books and 2 comic books, and started to read them. I loved that books very much and kept them even at bad. Thus, small amount money and books helped me to a good reader in my latter life.

Secondly, money can inspired children to work hard. This is simple mental needs which everyone by born like to have. So, if your father reward you with money which you can use in what you really like to have or do, you will work hard to get this money. For instance, I recently backed to my village home where my elder brother's family live. During my staying, primary school final exam result published, and my niece did a good job, so I gave him 500 Tk which is not very big amount for me but for her. She was very happy, and next day I saw him started reading in the morning and she asked me to buy some new textbooks and told me that she want to be a woman like me. She really inspired by having that gift. Therefore, I think we should reward our children for their good result.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that parents must give some sort money to their children. It is very important because student need some money to do want they like to have, and because money inspire for work hard and improve student condition.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...omics. As they have no other way to get those money, they are trying very hard to get good ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 29, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r life. Secondly, money can inspired children to work hard. This is simple me...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for instance, i think, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 79.0 43.0788530466 183% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1981.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 462.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.28787878788 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.1122757694 2.67179642975 79% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510822510823 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 596.7 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.2923694168 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.5416666667 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.25 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58333333333 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26833274986 0.236089414692 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0819676814112 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0687263947483 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186249247008 0.150856017488 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0147460441545 0.0645574589148 23% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.4 11.7677419355 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 77.57 58.1214874552 133% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.6 10.9000537634 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.63 8.01818996416 83% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.