TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

During life, children learn a lot of information and experiences from school and home. Sometimes school plays the main role of growing up of children, sometimes home gives our sons something they cannot learn in school, but it depends on free time of parents. Nowadays parents have jobs outdoor and multiple duties every day. If they have enough time to spend with their children I prefer to spend that time playing useful games at home or playing sports together in the playgrounds. I feel this way for two main reasons which I will explore in this essay.
First of all, children need time for entertainment. To be more specific, after a hard day in school that is full of classes and scientific information children should take time to relax and play to refresh their mind and prepare themselves to the next day. My own experience is a compelling example of this, when I was a child in an elementary school I was a genius student. I liked my school and I studied hard every day with my parents' helping, but at the end of the day I always feel tired and I usually felt less motivated. I felt like my study separated me from my family. My parents realized that and every day we played together for more than two hours, some of the game related to math and language that were so useful for me. My father since that time took me every weekend to the grass yard to play soccer with my friends. He played with us. It was special moments for me and made me feel happily.
Secondly, Parents should be special teachers. Teachers teach from books, on the other hand parents give their children emotions and experiences. They told them how to deal with life and how to overcome hardships. So it is crucial for children in school age to link with their parents in subjects are not belong to school. For instance, when my father took me to playground to play soccer or basketball, he gave me a confident. He increased a power of our relationship. Furthermore during the roads he gave me lessons in life. I could not forget the smile on my mother’s face when we came back and started another game with here.
In conclusion, I believe that parents should spend more time with their children not only to teach them and give them love and peace. But also to learn from them a simplicity, meaning of life and the principle purpose of it.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 661, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...layed together for more than two hours, some of the game related to math and language that ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 304, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'belonged'.
Suggestion: belonged
... with their parents in subjects are not belong to school. For instance, when my father...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 469, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
... increased a power of our relationship. Furthermore during the roads he gave me lessons in ...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, second, secondly, so, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1910.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 422.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.52606635071 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49429618191 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495260663507 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 581.4 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.4485976346 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.5833333333 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5833333333 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.20833333333 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232495349262 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0672138589619 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0770987110264 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153434303527 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0489715597544 0.0645574589148 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.7 11.7677419355 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.7 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.