A glance at how youngsters view celebrities brings to light a question that has several times provoked discussions, that is, whether the opinions of famous people are more important young people than to senior citizens. Some might contend that paying too much attention on celebrities can distract students from their study, thus it is not desired. However, my suggestion is that the thoughts of famous people can be stimuli for young people to work harder.
First and foremost, many celebrities do not get famous by chance, but through their own hard work, and they are excellent role models for young people. For instance, many teenagers were impressed when an America born Chinese, Shuhao Lin, gained a sweeping win in the NBA competition. Not been heard of by the public for a long time, he became famous instantly. His stories of being outstanding is also encouraging, for his talent in basketball was not recognized by others for a long time, but he sticked to what he loves and had gone through much hardship. His spirit has persuaded many teenagers to pursue their dreams of being either an athlete or a scientist, which is crucial to them in their life.
Secondly, young people are more open to new ideas and are thus easier to be influenced by famous people than older people. This is best illustrated by the example of rejecting ivory trade. Ivory trade used to be legal in my country, China. Nonetheless, the market in China was so big that it caused devastating effects on wild elephant populations. In the wake of this brutality, a group of famous people, including movie performers and singers, cooperated with NGOs to promote the halting of legal ivory trade. Many young people, who are actually frenetic fans of those celebrities, got to know about the problem and discussed it. Although older adults did not responded as positively as younger people, the impact celebrities exerted on young people still pushed the government to ban ivory trade.
Due to aforementioned ground, I agree that ideas of celebrities are more important to young people than to older people.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 663, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'respond'
Suggestion: respond
...ussed it. Although older adults did not responded as positively as younger people, the im...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, still, thus, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1744.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 351.0 407.700716846 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96866096866 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67599483724 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.581196581197 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 536.4 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.3909822861 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.0 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9375 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.3125 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177095944462 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0600695889263 0.076458572812 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0696465384756 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130483429452 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0649658335602 0.0645574589148 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.