TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Submitted by biol on Fri, 10/12/2018 - 04:17

I agree this idea that the opinions of famous people have more impact on and more importance to younger people rather than older people.

To begin with, youngsters have less training of critical thinking and own less knowledge to most of things than older ones, which determines the former are more easily affected by celebrities' words. Many celebrities would like to share their life styles or events, but maybe only elders have the mature ability to scrutinize them. For example, in my country, the drugs are controlled strictly for celebrities, which are mainly based on the thinking that those bad behaviors would affect our next generation. Some talented actors are condemned by the laws, no matter who are their fathers. In this regard, the opinions from the celebrities have great terrible effects to young people rather than older people. It doesn't means elders won't be affected by the celebrities, but the influence is less comparing that to young man.

Meanwhile, celebrities have the responsibility to teaching young man how to be up-righted or so, but they have less influence to older man, since the latter already forms his/her own opinions and means towards the events. For instance, the most efficient way to decrease smoking in populations is that render celebrities educate the students in the school. Because most of those students haven't experience the addition to smoking, they have the mood to choose avoid cigars. While imagine you tell an adults that smoking would hurt our health, I guess he won't listen your words in most cases. Hence, celebrities have more chances to change youngsters' opinion with their own experience and let them culture a better attitudes and behaviors towards life, but they are hardly to challenge older people's ideas.

In conclusion, since young people have less life experience and special methods to face the world, the

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Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the things') or simply say ''most things''.
Suggestion: most of the things; most things
...ical thinking and own less knowledge to most of things than older ones, which determines the f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 713, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ung people rather than older people. It doesnt means elders wont be affected by the ce...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 389, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
... school. Because most of those students havent experience the addition to smoking, the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 461, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to avoid'
Suggestion: to avoid
...o smoking, they have the mood to choose avoid cigars. While imagine you tell an adult...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 498, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an adult' or simply 'adults'?
Suggestion: an adult; adults
...se avoid cigars. While imagine you tell an adults that smoking would hurt our health, I g...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, if, may, so, while, for example, for instance, i guess, in conclusion, in most cases, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1577.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 307.0 407.700716846 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13680781759 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53152517667 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.560260586319 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 482.4 618.680645161 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.8267460533 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.307692308 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6153846154 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.53846153846 5.45110844103 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167404135258 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0648897376218 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0888885910197 0.0737576698707 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137313867502 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117404259965 0.0645574589148 182% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.