TPO Extra1
People learn things better from those at their own level- such as fellow students or co workers- than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors.
People have huge influence on other people's behavior and way of thinking. It comes as no surprise that efforts to finding the most influential people on individuals have been always among the top priorities. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is whether people learn more from their peers such as their classmates or co-workers, or they learn more from elder people such as their teachers or supervisors. I, to a great extent, concur with the idea that people are more inclined to learn from the elder people. The rationale behind this thesis will be elaborated by the most outstanding reasons.
The first exquisite point that makes me hold this belief is that elder people have more knowledge than young ones; therefore, they have higher influence on younger people. It goes without saying that people in the same age have almost equal knowledge; thus, they cannot affect each other hugely. But elder people are more knowledgeable and are more informed about their surroundings. Young people can rely on them, ask many questions and get their advices. As I remember, whenever I had a problem, I talked to my supervisor who is really a professional academic and non-academic person. He advised me patiently and got the best solution for each problem. On the other hand, when I talked to my classmates, they gave me nonsense solutions that I already knew.
Another reason deserving some words here is that elder people are respectful for younger individuals. Besides, the more respectful the people are, the more influence they have on the other people. Consequently, elder people have more effects on youth than their peers. For example, I always respect elder people like my supervisor and my boss. It causes that their opinions are really invaluable for me and I exert them in my life. Whenever they say something to me, I completely listen and utilize it. Two years ago, I had a study problem. I could not get good grades. One of my friends told me that I have to change my study habits and instead of studying in the noisy rooms, I must study in the library. But, I did not pay attention to his advice. A few days later, my teacher said exactly the same thing that my friend told me. As I really respected him, I followed his advice. Few weeks later, my performance improved surprisingly.
Finally, yet importantly, elder people like teachers and supervisors have more experience that people in the same age. The more time ones live, the more experience he/she will attain. He/she can get invaluable and practical information to people that he/she encounter with them before. For example, my supervisor is a man around 50th. He have really worthy experience. When I go to his office, he talked about his experiences in his life. He has great influence on me as I can evaluate the consequences of many works in my life. He teaches me many lessons about academic and personal life. He show me the right and wrong ways, the negative and positive consequences of my decisions. Had I not have my supervisor who talks about his experiences and guides me in the right way, I would have had many problems.
In conclusion, contemplating all the aforementioned paragraphs, one can soon realize that elder people have better influence on people than people in the same age since not only do they have more knowledge, but also as they are respectful, people are more likely to follow their advises and they are experience people and give constructional guides.
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Comments
The passage is almost…
The passage is almost entirely off-topic!
The author compared learning from youngsters and older adults, while the question has asked to show your preference between learning from people at different levels...
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 259, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'encounters'.
Suggestion: encounters
...tical information to people that he/she encounter with them before. For example, my super...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 339, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
... my supervisor is a man around 50th. He have really worthy experience. When I go to ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 591, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ssons about academic and personal life. He show me the right and wrong ways, the n...
^^
Line 7, column 594, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'shows'.
Suggestion: shows
...ns about academic and personal life. He show me the right and wrong ways, the negati...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, finally, first, if, really, regarding, so, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 103.0 43.0788530466 239% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2905.0 1977.66487455 147% => OK
No of words: 595.0 407.700716846 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88235294118 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93888872473 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72337681946 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 277.0 212.727598566 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465546218487 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 925.2 618.680645161 150% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 25.0 9.59856630824 260% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 20.6003584229 175% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.2402166849 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.6944444444 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5277777778 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63888888889 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0674017030911 0.236089414692 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.017007032404 0.076458572812 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452107805711 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0508235136301 0.150856017488 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0564069133938 0.0645574589148 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 86.8835125448 142% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.