TPO8- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In this progressive world where we live, no one can turn a blind eye to the significant effects of television programs on children's behavior. Some are inclined toward the opinion that television advertisements affect negatively children performance, and these programs should be limited for them especially those who are two to five-years-old. On the other extreme of the rope, others think that some advertisements are useful for kids. Although both sides take their own positions, personally speaking, I firmly believe that the first group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will cogently explain my reasons to justify my points of view.
As the first and paramount reason, since a few advertisements show horrifying scenes, many children not being sufficiently knowledgeable and emotionally ready to understand these pictures may feel fear. In other words, many children in the age of 2-5 can't distinguish different concepts such as various and attractive advertisements created for teenagers. Therefore, they may be affected emotionally by these television programs. Take my own experience as a compelling example. When I was five-years-old, I saw a horrible advertisement showing a strange boy with a black hat and mask for Halloween night. Some years later, I didn't get rid of those fearful scenes and I couldn't sleep well at night as a consequence. Actually, I was not mature enough to recognize those horrifying programs which were about a special celebration. Hence, the more advertisements are controlled for children to watch, the better emotional performance they will show in the near future.
The second reason coming to my mind to substantiate my viewpoint is that different advertisements encourage children to eat various food, which most of them are unhealthy and have much fat and calorie, such as junk food. To be more specific, having a certain diet, children especially those who are 2-5 years old should not eat low nutrient food. On the other hand, many companies, which consider young children as target customers and earn a lot of money, design beautiful scenes to attract these children by advertising high-fat food being very delicious. Consequently, families should control their children to watch which advertisements. For instance, research conducted by some psychology students shows that children watching many commercial programs on the television, particularly those are about fast food like to eat more snack and junk food than other healthy food such as milk or fruit. In fact, they want to imitate those advertisement's habits and diets. As a result, families should not allow their children to watch negative advertisements showing an unhealthy diet.
In conclusion, taking the above reasons into account, I firmly believe that some advertisements having adverse consequences not only affect children's behavior and their emotional performance but they also cause detrimental habits such as eating nutritionally deficient food in young children.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 252, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... words, many children in the age of 2-5 cant distinguish different concepts such as ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 626, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...or Halloween night. Some years later, I didnt get rid of those fearful scenes and I c...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 670, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...t get rid of those fearful scenes and I couldnt sleep well at night as a consequence. A...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...certain diet, children especially those who are 2-5 years old should not eat low nutrie...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, may, second, so, therefore, well, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as a result, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2539.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.44849785408 4.8611393121 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13164763848 2.67179642975 117% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.55364806867 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 767.7 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.5559995544 48.9658058833 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.904761905 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1904761905 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.57142857143 5.45110844103 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189307348244 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0598608956396 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0431753630441 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123518310149 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.026577072506 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.33 10.9000537634 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 86.8835125448 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.