You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy?
In today's hectic life in is an astonishing fact that people from all walks of life differ greatly in their attitudes towards this phenomenon. We find that some people prefer to enjoy the concert if they have received a gift of money, on the other hand others prefer to buy a piece of jewelry. From my perspective, I would side with the latter. So,Let's see my reasons.
Taking my view into account the reason which may shed some light in my point is about investment. It goes without saying that in today's society, there are people who are willing to delve deeper into saving money for the future and want to quench their thirst of acquiring more value in their life span. In fact, a piece of jewelry is a good decision for them to convince their needs. Besides, it can enhance their chance to receive more wealth in the future because its worth has been increased.
Another rationale of why I take positive idea about jewelry than concert is related to admiration. It is absolutely certain that people, especially ladies have a tendency to use materials which bring then more pleasure and admiration. This significantly lies in the fact that, they are groping to satisfy their self-esteem. Moreover, sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you, so I think that jewelry is a choice that made a woman.
Nevertheless, the two paragraphs in the body should not be over generalized. Just an old adage goes: "a coin has two sides", those who take the other side are partially reasonable every once in a while. That is, there might be a situation in which people like to have a joyful time. This argument goes on to assert that a guy use a concert with his fiance to reach a good mood and have a sense of fun.
To put it in a nutshell in light of the previously discussed reasons, the viewpoint of those who believe using money for concert is more rationale and useful is accepted occasionally, though the situation like a sense of fun is too special and fairly rare that should not be taken as a general rule. Indeed, kind of investment and admiration are prime factors to my propensity for choosing to buy jewelry. If I could have a chance to get a gift of money, I do not have a bit of hesitation to buy jewelry.
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Sentence: In today's hectic life in is an astonishing fact that people from all walks of life differ greatly in their attitudes towards this phenomenon.
Description: The token in is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to in and is
a guy use a concert
a guy uses a concert
is more rationale and useful
Definitions of rationale
noun
a set of reasons or a logical basis for a course of action or a particular belief.
"he explained the rationale behind the change"
synonyms: reason(s), reasoning, thinking, logic, grounds, sense, principle, theory, argument, case, motive, motivation, explanation, justification, excuse, the whys and wherefores
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 1787 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.412 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.44 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.548 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5