You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry ot tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry ot tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Recently, I received from my uncle my birthday gift which was a letter containing money. With the money I can afford to buy two tickets to attend the Iron Maiden concert , or buy the silver chain I saw yesterday. However, in that dilemma the decision for me is really obvious. I will choose to attend the Iron Maiden concert instead of buying the chain for several reasons.

First of all, by buying two tickets, one for me and one for my brother,- who loves this band- will improve our relationship by fortifying our bonds and will distract him from his current problems simultaneously. To be more precise, my brother and I had a really tough time lately, due to our parent’s divorse. Therefore, a thoughtful gift like those tickets might become a step in order to overcome this difficulty. Moreover, we had a little fight a while ago, so this gift will hopefully reconciliates our affiliation.

Secondly, buying tickets for my brother with money that belongs to me is selfless action, that portrays the fact that you care about your sibling’s well being. More specifically, one might get bored of materials such as jewelry afterwards. However, sharing an experience with another person, like attending a music concert together, is priceless and one will remember it for the rest of his life.

Last but not least, this band has performed only a few times throughout the years, hence, attending one of their concerts is a dream come true for me. To be more specific, Iron Maiden is the band with the minimum number of concerts amongst all metal bands, thus, I might not have the chance to attend in one of their concerts subsequently in my life.

From my point of view, between those two options my decision was really easy, because the sole factor in deciding how to spend your extra money is by choosing experiences that might inspire you , fulfill you as a person or motivates you.

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2015-09-02 tommy122 80 view
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will hopefully reconciliates our affiliation.
will hopefully re conciliate our affiliation.

is selfless action
is a selfless action

attending one of their concerts is a dream come true for me.
attending one of their concerts is a dream which comes true for me.

Sentence: To be more precise, my brother and I had a really tough time lately, due to our parent's divorse.
Error: divorse Suggestion: divorce

Sentence: Moreover, we had a little fight a while ago, so this gift will hopefully reconciliates our affiliation.
Error: reconciliates Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 328 350
No. of Characters: 1508 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.256 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.598 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.494 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.363 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.616 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5