Young people enjoy life more than old people do? do you agree or disagree?
Young people don't enjoy more than old people do. The fact that old people might not do some activities in the same ways as young people, this doesn't mean that they are not happy, rather, I consider that they are happier than many young people. Even though, some people consider that old people cannot live in the same way as they did years ago, I consider that grandparents can live well, and they enjoy their lives. To support my point of view I will porvide some arguments in the next paragraphs.
First of all, old people have their own activities. They play cards and games that don't require strong physical effors. Any way, they are happy because they enjoy and relax doing their games, even more than many young people. To be old is not a disease, instead this is a condition that all people in any point of their lives will pass through. For instance, my neighbor who is 85 years old, is a good example of that. He is a great man that likes to plant trees and flowers. My neighbor told me that he started planting trees since 1930 and even though has been many years, he still feel the same emotion. In addition, his grandchildren are also learning to plant trees and they all look very happy together. This taught me that young and old people can enjoy the same activities.
Another aspect of this explanation is that old people are more familiar than young people. thus, grandparents spend a valuable time with the family; this time they use it to give advices and even to narrate old storys that occurred when they were young. This create an environment of happiness not only for grandparents, but also for young family members that are around. One good example of that is my grandmother, she loves to cookk for the whole family, and even when we are sad she starts offering food and smilling. This creates an atmosphera of joy.
In addition, old people enjoy better music than youngs do. Have you listen a classic song from 1970. This is a great music that relaxes the soul; it is such as traveling to the pass. Old people listen to music and they remember many things, and even they tell storys about things that happend in the pass. As we can see, old people love music from their times and they enjoy it.
To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I don't agree with the statement that young people enjoy life more than old people because old people; have their own activities, spend more time with the family, and enjoy old music.
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- tpo.20 integrated 78
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- TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rembrandt 80
This create an environment
This creates an environment
family members that are around.
family members who are around.
Sentence: To support my point of view I will porvide some arguments in the next paragraphs.
Error: porvide Suggestion: provide
Sentence: They play cards and games that don't require strong physical effors.
Error: effors Suggestion: effort
Sentence: One good example of that is my grandmother, she loves to cookk for the whole family, and even when we are sad she starts offering food and smilling.
Error: smilling Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: cookk Suggestion: cook
Sentence: This creates an atmosphera of joy.
Error: atmosphera Suggestion: atmosphere
Sentence: Old people listen to music and they remember many things, and even they tell storys about things that happend in the pass.
Error: happend Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 448 while No. of Different Words: 198 //try to use only one sentence for an example
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 1944 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.339 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.063 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.478 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.329 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5