Professors on TV
The professor refutes the points that are discussed in the reading passage. The professor addresses the drawbacks of appearing the professors as a guest on television whereas author mentions benefits of this idea.
First of all, the writer states that professors can procure reputations by providing their views to the wider audience. To contrast, the lecturer avers that they focus on the entertainment more than to the study. To add this, the lecturer says that they also deprive from getting money as they become celebrities. Moreover,Contrary to the belief of passage that university also get profits as it helps to advertise their university, the lecturer demonstrate that professors utilize their more time on rehearsing, in making notes and to look better and pay less attention on university business and researches.
In addition, the lecturer shows disagreement on the point of passage that it is helpful for public as they get chance to learn from experts, by saying that they do not present serious academic material that proves beneficial for public.
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flaws:
Not in a correct format. Need one more argument.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages a lot but put more content from the lecture.
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 12
No. of Words: 171 250
No. of Characters: 876 1200
No. of Different Words: 104 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.616 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.123 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.704 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.129 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.418 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.657 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4