Smoking prevention campaigns, particularly those aimed at young people, have met with significant success all around the country. The current campaign to prevent tobacco use among teens in our own state, for example, has had a measurable positive impact. This program includes an advertising campaign, the implementation of no-smoking policies for places frequented by teens, and various community antismoking events. Close to 25 % of teens surveyed said that they had participated in one of these events during the past year. More significantly, over 50% reported having seen the antismoking ads. The survey also found that those who had not seen the ads were much less likely to start smoking than those who had not seen any of the antismoking ads. The public health department plans to continue and expand the campaign so as to reach more young people throughout the state. Clearly, such campaigns can go a long way toward addressing public health issues.
In the set of materials, the reading states that smoking prevention campaigns, which aimed at young people, were successful all around the country. The reading explains more details about the ads and claims that such campaigns can go a long way toward addressing public health issues. However, the professor challenges the efficiency of the campaigns and states that the initial results may be deceptive.
First, the reading explains that the advertising campaign were very good because most of the students had seen them. In addition, the reading claims that the students, who had seen the antismoking ads, were less likely to start smoking than those who had not seen any of the anti smoking ads. In contrast, the professor questions the effectiveness of the advertising campaign by asserting that the results should be examined, for example, a few months later to see whether they are as successful as now. Maybe the ads’ effects are temporary and students start smoking again in the future.
The professor provides a case study of the advertising campaign, which were conducted in the Midwest regions to illustrate this. According to statistics, a high percentage of students had seen the ads and participated in antismoking events. Nevertheless, after a few months, the students were asked about the advertising campaigns and how they are likely to start smoking again. The results indicate that a significant number of the students not only had forgotten the ads, but also had decided to start smoking in the next year.
To sum up, the professor concludes that we need to look at all figures before judging about the success of these advertising campaigns.
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flaws:
Not in a correct pattern.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages a lot but put more content from the lecture.
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 272 250
No. of Characters: 1358 1200
No. of Different Words: 136 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.061 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.993 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.688 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.662 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.419 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4