TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism.

The article states that altruism is a selfless act of sacrifies by animals which is present among both humans and other mammals. However, the lecturer explains that if closely observed then it is revealed that animals do not perform so such altruistic deeds selflessly and the lecturer refutes atricles example with reasons which are provied in the following paragraphs.

First, the reading claims that in a group of meerkats one member act as a sentinel who sacrifice food and safety to alerm other member from preditors. The professor opposes this point by saying sentinel are the first to see the preditors and it has greater chance to flee. The lecturer claims that meerkats group together when preditors attack which makes it easier for sentinel to run away. Again, lecturer states that sentinel does not go hungry while guarding the group. In fact lecturer claims that the opposite happens. Sentinel eat food before he goes to its duity.

Second, the reading posits that human do altruistic deed by sharing food or even donate organ to relatives or often tocomplete strangers. But the lecturer refutes this point by explaining that when someone donates organ to relatives, he gets appreciation from society. He also get great self satisfiction. The lecturer made her point by saying that human does not share food or donate organ selflessly, there is a subtle intention of getting approval from society behind that act.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 553, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ite happens. Sentinel eat food before he goes to its duity. Second, the readi...
^^
Line 5, column 234, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...when someone donates organ to relatives, he gets appreciation from society. He al...
^^^
Line 5, column 280, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...gets appreciation from society. He also get great self satisfiction. The lecturer m...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, then, while, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 5.04856512141 0% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 12.0772626932 141% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 22.412803532 94% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 30.3222958057 89% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1199.0 1373.03311258 87% => OK
No of words: 235.0 270.72406181 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10212765957 5.08290768461 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.91531732006 4.04702891845 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48498979616 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Unique words: 139.0 145.348785872 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.591489361702 0.540411800872 109% => OK
syllable_count: 363.6 419.366225166 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 13.0662251656 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 21.2450331126 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0601735241 49.2860985944 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.9166666667 110.228320801 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5833333333 21.698381199 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 7.06452816374 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 4.45695364238 22% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0146298365207 0.272083759551 5% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00613042037897 0.0996497079465 6% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0203323042042 0.0662205650399 31% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.013214840022 0.162205337803 8% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0186886059837 0.0443174109184 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.3589403974 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 53.8541721854 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.0289183223 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.2367328918 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.42419426049 102% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 63.6247240618 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.7273730684 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.498013245 91% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:

para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.