TPO-03 - Integrated Writing Task Rembrandt is the most famous of the seventeenth-century Dutch painters. However, there are doubts whether some paintings attributed to Rembrandt were actually painted by him. One such painting is known as attributed to Rem

Both the lecture and the passage discuss about a woman’s portrait attributed by a famous painter, Rembrandt. The passage claims that this could not be a work by Rembrandt. However, the lecture suggests that the current one was modified by someone else hundreds of years later than the original one which was indeed attributed by Rembrandt was painted.

First, the passage argues that Rembrandt would not paint in such an inconsistent way that a servant is wearing a luxurious fur collar. The lecture indicates that the fur collar was not the part of the painting originally. X-ray and other examinations showed that the color was painted over the top of the original one. Some modification was made by someone, probably trying to increase the value of this portrait.

Secondly, the passage states that the light reflection on the face did not fit the dark color of the collar. The lecture contends that the woman is wearing a light-colored collar when the edited fur is moved. This light color reflects the light that illuminates the woman’s face. So in the original painting, the light and the shadow are very realistic.

Finally, the passage illustrates that the panel of this portrait was made of pieces of wood glued together, which is different from his other paintings. The lecture asserts that the wood panel was also edited with addition wood glued to the sides and top. The original painting was painted on single wood. Moreover, some pieces of wood from the original wood was from the same tree as the wood panel used for another painting from Rembrandt.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 10.4613686534 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 7.30242825607 55% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 22.412803532 71% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 30.3222958057 92% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1321.0 1373.03311258 96% => OK
No of words: 265.0 270.72406181 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98490566038 5.08290768461 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03470204552 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57035153494 2.5805825403 100% => OK
Unique words: 129.0 145.348785872 89% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.48679245283 0.540411800872 90% => OK
syllable_count: 401.4 419.366225166 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 2.5761589404 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 13.0662251656 115% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 21.2450331126 80% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.6594711783 49.2860985944 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.0666666667 110.228320801 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 21.698381199 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 7.06452816374 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 4.19205298013 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 4.33554083885 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.498338213345 0.272083759551 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.172945649216 0.0996497079465 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0919173400043 0.0662205650399 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.284404921058 0.162205337803 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0881551157658 0.0443174109184 199% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.3589403974 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 53.8541721854 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.0289183223 79% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.2367328918 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.42419426049 91% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 63.6247240618 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.7273730684 79% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.498013245 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

was also edited with addition wood
was also edited with an additional wood

The original painting was painted on single wood.
The original painting was painted on a single wood.

as the wood panel used for another painting from Rembrandt
as the wood panel was used for another painting from Rembrandt

flaws:
more sentence varieties wanted, look:

the passage argues that
the passage states that
the passage illustrates that
The lecture contends that...
...

read two sample essays to see how they use words in those conditions:
http://www.testbig.com/integrated-toefl-writing-essays/toefl-integrated…
http://www.testbig.com/toefl-essays/toefl-sample-essay-integrated-essay…

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 12
No. of Words: 265 250
No. of Characters: 1273 1200
No. of Different Words: 122 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.804 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.407 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.57 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4