TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The passage states that storing patients' medical records in electronic database has several advantages and provides some of them. On the other hand, the professor refutes this point by stating that benefecials of recordding them in electronic database are uncertainty.

To begin with, the reading claims that the use of electronic records can reduce costs. However, the lecturer refutes this point by saying that electronic records does not decrease the costs. She provides an example of electronic records which does not save money. Doctors have to keep their records as emergency. Besides, patients' records need to be signed by doctors. Finally, she says that electronig storage cost a lot.

Furthermore, the reading states that electronic medical records reduces the chances of medical errors. The professor, again, contends this point by saying that electronic storages does not eliminate errors. She provides some ways which errors would not be inavoidable despite of using electronic storage. First, she mentions that doctors have to take note by hand when they meet their patients. Also, when stuff insert data into computers, they may have some errors too.

Finally, the reading states that electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research. The professor, however, refutes this point by saying there are some problems which is barriers for this purpose. She mentions that to access to such kind of data there are some extrict laws. Besides, the lecturer mentions that reserchers would need to have the permisions of patients. She provides an example that patients do not permit other people to access to their medical information.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The passage states that storing patients...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...electronic database are uncertainty. To begin with, the reading claims that t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... that electronig storage cost a lot. Furthermore, the reading states that ele...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ters, they may have some errors too. Finally, the reading states that electr...
^^^
Line 7, column 36, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... Finally, the reading states that electronic medical records can greatly a...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, finally, first, furthermore, however, may, so, kind of, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 7.30242825607 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 12.0772626932 141% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 22.412803532 134% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 29.0 30.3222958057 96% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1400.0 1373.03311258 102% => OK
No of words: 259.0 270.72406181 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40540540541 5.08290768461 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.01166760082 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51758769261 2.5805825403 98% => OK
Unique words: 125.0 145.348785872 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482625482625 0.540411800872 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 425.7 419.366225166 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 3.25607064018 215% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 21.2450331126 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 23.744525035 49.2860985944 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 77.7777777778 110.228320801 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.3888888889 21.698381199 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.72222222222 7.06452816374 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 4.19205298013 119% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.27373068433 187% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.456997414147 0.272083759551 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.164361394807 0.0996497079465 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125938276693 0.0662205650399 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.320414244122 0.162205337803 198% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461532091791 0.0443174109184 104% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 13.3589403974 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 53.8541721854 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 11.0289183223 80% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.51 12.2367328918 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.42419426049 97% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 63.6247240618 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.498013245 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.