TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The article states that there are some benefits of storing patient's medical records on electronic system rather than store them in traditional base record keeping, and it provides three reasons of support. However, the professor explains that they are uncertain advantages and he refutes each of the author's reasons.

First, the reading claims that it may reducing the money required for storing and transferring medical records as paper records require a significant amount of storage space but in case of computerized storing it takes no space. But the professor refutes this point by explaining that doctors still keep the papers for emergency and to be included their signature and the process of recording data electronically is always discontinue.

Second, the article posits that record electronically may reduce the errors that may occur by illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data and nonstandard organization of paper records. However, the professor opposes this point by saying that errors are always exist because the doctors prefer to use pen and paper and take notes and the electronic recording process always occur on later times and staff member may be interrupted by the doctors misunderstand writings.

Third, the reading passage says that electronic record may aiding research and give the researchers the chance to collect large amount of data from patient records. Although, the professor refutes this point by saying that the medical researchers face many difficulties because of the privacy low in the united states that make the researchers they follow restricted and hard procedures and take a permission from the patients as they could block the use of their data in medical researches.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s point by explaining that doctors still keep the papers for emergency and to be ...
^^
Line 3, column 425, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'discontinued'.
Suggestion: discontinued
...recording data electronically is always discontinue. Second, the article posits that rec...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 271, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'existed'.
Suggestion: existed
... point by saying that errors are always exist because the doctors prefer to use pen a...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 349, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed states that make the researchers they follow restricted and hard procedures an...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, so, still, third

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 7.30242825607 205% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 22.412803532 103% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 30.3222958057 89% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1466.0 1373.03311258 107% => OK
No of words: 270.0 270.72406181 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.42962962963 5.08290768461 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.05360046442 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81394723472 2.5805825403 109% => OK
Unique words: 142.0 145.348785872 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525925925926 0.540411800872 97% => OK
syllable_count: 451.8 419.366225166 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 2.5761589404 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 13.0662251656 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 21.2450331126 155% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.8166976209 49.2860985944 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 183.25 110.228320801 166% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.75 21.698381199 156% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.75 7.06452816374 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.27373068433 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.528226667394 0.272083759551 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.239070817507 0.0996497079465 240% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.116155245958 0.0662205650399 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.328996332567 0.162205337803 203% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0511387191477 0.0443174109184 115% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.0 13.3589403974 157% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 29.52 53.8541721854 55% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.3 11.0289183223 157% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.81 12.2367328918 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.72 8.42419426049 115% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 63.6247240618 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.7273730684 131% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 10.498013245 145% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.2008830022 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.