5.Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country?
When it comes to information that a museum provides for visitors, the controversy surrounds the issue of whether a museum plays an important role in showing characteristics of a country from various aspects for foreigners or even the local people or not. Some people are of the opinion that museums preserve specific details about the cultural background of a country enabling tourists to gather a wide variety of information on customs, wealth,.. . I beileve, however, if you want to learn about a country comprehensively, choosing other methods can be more useful.
One of the most interesting aspects of the current discussion which demands a keen contemplation is that artistic abilities of a country cannot be known through visiting a museum. In each country, there is a large numbers of historical places with specific architecture which represents the local people's talents in creating such unique sites. For example, in Isfehan, the traditional home of my country, Iran, you can see picturesque scenery of the historical places such as a bridge called 'Seose-pol' is made of thirty three arches precisely, which is a symbol of the accuracy and rare expertise of Iranian architects in the ancient times.
Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion which needs to be reflected is that traditional food is another proper illustration which offers foreigners to learn about a country. By passing times, due to the rigors of modern life, people's eating habit has been changed into fast-food. In order to find out about local food of a country, you require to spend some days with people who are used to following their customs. This aim by spending some limited times and simply looking at museum cannot be gained.
Last but not least, when you visit the vastness of historical places in a country, you can understand how powerful a country was in the past. The fact that museums diplay just relics and broken artifacts from the past is inevitable. For instance,'Persepolis' , situated in Shiraz, is one of the gigantic monuments in my country which represets power and prosperity of Iran. How can a visitor can get such important knowledge just through visiting small objects in a museum?
to sum up, gaining precious information on a foreign country can be achieved just through visiting historical sites, and spending times with local people, while museums' exhibits are restricted to some items.
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- Tpo 20. 50
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Comments
Dear teacher, Would you mind
Dear teacher,
Would you mind letting me know if the organization and being understandable of my essay has improved since I have followed your advice?
Thanks in advance.
Yes, you are on the right
Yes, you are on the right track. Look: those coherences are pretty high:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Gradually you can mix this pattern to your own writing styles since this pattern is for start-ups. You can read more writing varieties:
How can a visitor can get such important knowledge
How can a visitor get such important knowledge
Sentence: I beileve, however, if you want to learn about a country comprehensively, choosing other methods can be more useful.
Error: beileve Suggestion: believe
Sentence: The fact that museums diplay just relics and broken artifacts from the past is inevitable.
Error: diplay Suggestion: display
Sentence: For instance,'Persepolis' , situated in Shiraz, is one of the gigantic monuments in my country which represets power and prosperity of Iran.
Error: represets Suggestion: represents
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1970 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 5 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.762 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.483 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5