Some people think that children’s free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. What is your opinion?
Today educational system applies a tight schedule in school on children. They spent mostly their time in school rather than in home. To a certain extent I agree that children using their spare time by playing or having fun will not waste their time. However, I also believe that it is more useful if they take benefits from their rest time by doing some educational activities.
It is undeniable that kids need time to play. After studying a lot in long hours in school they deserve time to have rest. Furthermore, the preliminary study from psychologist explains that children in age of 5 – 10 years old need more time to play. For instance, pupils, coming back to home from school, can choose freely whether they will sleeping, watching TV, or riding bicycle in their free time. Doing many relaxing activities like games help children to refresh their mind and to prevent them from bored mood in studying. Then, it obviously define that this activity is good for children’s sake and not a wasteful activity.
On the other hand, encouraging children to fill their leisure time with some educational activities is also a better choice. Additional education activity will enlarge the knowledge and the skill of the children which might bring positive impact in the future life. Therefore, older people may persuade them in a very smooth ways. For example, giving them an award if they can maintain their endurance when taking math course is best. By this method, children learn to habit their free time effectively.
To sum up, for the opinion I have mentioned above I believe that children have more advantages if they spent their free time in educational activity.
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Sentence: For instance, pupils, coming back to home from school, can choose freely whether they will sleeping, watching TV, or riding bicycle in their free time.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to will and sleeping
Doing many relaxing activities like games help children to refresh
Doing many relaxing activities like games helps children to refresh
it obviously define that
it obviously defines that
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1350 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.787 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.427 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.407 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5