IELTS 2006.06.24Question: Some people think that it is beneficial for students to go to private secondary school, but other people think that it can have a negative effect. Discuss the two point and give your own opinion.

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IELTS 2006.06.24
Question: Some people think that it is beneficial for students to go to private secondary school, but other people think that it can have a negative effect. Discuss the two point and give your own opinion.

The society prefers private secondary school for the children in order to get more beneficial. Even though other people argue that private secondary school give negative effect for the student. In term of my opinion, it is better to choose private secondary school.

The option to deliver the student to private secondary school can be enlighten at least three reasons. Firstly, the private secondary school provides comprehensive curriculum and offers more extra-curricular activities such as sport, music, art and clubs. The curriculum is continuously developed by the teacher. Both program are aimed to create the student’s knowledge and to create the leadership, creative and appreciative student’s behavior. The extra-curricular activities are programed after finishing the school. The student are able to select one or more extra-curriculum program to reduce their stresses. Relaxing the body, growingthe skills and engaging valuable social relationship. Secondly, private secondary school provides the best quality of teacher that teach the student professionally. The teachers in that school generally graduate from universityand with better track record. They are a creative and innovative teacher with possessing many experiences. Furthermore, the teacher can afford operate well the technology such as computer that make easy the transformation of knowledge to the student. Finally, a number of student is limited. The teacher will focus on teaching with limited student.

The society that assumes negative effect of going to private secondary school can be explained in most important reason. The private secondary school is an expensive school. Only the rich family can bring their children to study there. Therefore, it will create the inharmonious relationship between societies. The student who study at private school tend to make friend with the equal level.

For the reason mentioned above, it seems to me that the parents are more likely to go to private secondary school for their children in order to get successful student in the future.

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in order to get more beneficial
in order to get more benefit

private secondary school give negative effect for the student.
private secondary schools give negative effects for the students.

can be enlighten at least three reasons
can be enlightened at least by three reasons

Both program are aimed to
Both programs are aimed to

The student are able to select
The students are able to select

the teacher can afford operate well the technology
the teacher can afford to operate the technology well

a number of student is limited.
the number of student is limited.
a number of student are limited.

Sentence: Relaxing the body, growingthe skills and engaging valuable social relationship.
Error: growingthe Suggestion: growing

Sentence: The teachers in that school generally graduate from universityand with better track record.
Error: universityand Suggestion: university

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1712 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.47 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.906 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.227 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.862 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.458 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5