The purpose of higher education is to prepare students for the future, but classen students are at a serious disadvantage in the competition for post-college employment due to the university's burdensome breadth requirements. classen's job placement rate is substantially lower than placement rates of many top-ranked schools. classen students would be more attractive to employers if they had more time to take advanced courses in their specialty, rather than being required to spend fifteen percent of their time at classen taking courses outside of their subject area. we demand, therefore, that the university abandon or drastically cut back on its breadth requirements.
Analyse and Suggest any additional kind of evidence to reinforce the argument.
The argument by the Classen University Students that the University should abandon or cut back on its breadth requirement to improve their job placement and become attractive to employers by taking advanced courses seems tenable at first glance. However this argument is based on various assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.
Firstly, the students assume that Classen University students are at a disadvantage in post –college employment competiton because of the burdensome breadth requirements of the University. But there may be other factors which may have decreased the job opportunities for the students. They may have poor skills in communication or other things. There may be a recession which may have decreased the employment opportunities.
Secondly, the students assume that the job placement rate for Classen University students is less than that of top ranked schools. But, no data or survey is quoted while mentioning this assumption. There is no clear evidence that the placement rates are actully lower. Also, the students assume that the schools which they are comapring to are top ranked. But no proof is provided which shows that these schools are actually top ranked based on a proper judging crietria.
Additionally, the students assume that they would be more attractive to employers if their time permits them to take advanced courses in their speciality . However this is not proved. It may be possible that employers are looking for generalists rather than specialists for the job. Also no proof is provided that with more time to spare they would use it productively to pursue advanced courses and not waste their time in useless activities.
The students must answer various questions for their argument to become valid. They should show the data about job placement rate of Classen University and comparing it with other schools which are ranked on top by a proper criteria. They should prove that the decreased placement are due to cumbersome breadth requirements and if it is reduced then students will use that free time for productive purpose. After answering all these questions will the student’s argument will be strenghtened.
Thus, the argument of the student that Classen students are at a disadvantage during post-college employment due to ardous breadth requirement falls due to lack of proper evidence.
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- The purpose of higher education is to prepare students for the future, but classen students are at a serious disadvantage in the competition for post-college employment due to the university's burdensome breadth requirements. classen's job placement rate 63
Sentence: Firstly, the students assume that Classen University students are at a disadvantage in post ?college employment competiton because of the burdensome breadth requirements of the University.
Error: competiton Suggestion: competition
Sentence: There is no clear evidence that the placement rates are actully lower.
Error: actully Suggestion: actually
Sentence: Also, the students assume that the schools which they are comapring to are top ranked.
Error: comapring Suggestion: comparing
Sentence: But no proof is provided which shows that these schools are actually top ranked based on a proper judging crietria.
Error: crietria Suggestion: criteria
Sentence: Additionally, the students assume that they would be more attractive to employers if their time permits them to take advanced courses in their speciality .
Error: speciality Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: After answering all these questions will the student's argument will be strenghtened.
Error: strenghtened Suggestion: strengthened
Sentence: Thus, the argument of the student that Classen students are at a disadvantage during post-college employment due to ardous breadth requirement falls due to lack of proper evidence.
Error: ardous Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK.
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
Don't just cast doubt the source or data or survey. Try to accept them as truth and then try to find out loopholes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1949 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.184 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.773 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.165 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5