The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.
"Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our fast-food warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The vice president suggests that choosing Buzzoff to provide the pest control services would ultimately save a great amount of money from a big picture. To support the conclusion, the arguer cites the evidence providing Fly-Away caused more worth of food damage but with a relative low price,on the other hand,Buzzoff is capable of causing less damage while the price is higher than that of Fly-Away. Without a close scrutiny,at the first glance,the argument seems to have the credits of balancing the overall damage with costs,while the argument is flawed in nature and relies on several assumptions which need to be clarified before citing as solid evidence.
Firstly,the assertion assumes that the two locations where signed contracts with different pest control companies, have comparable features.The arguer neglects to consider that there is a reason for choosing Fly-Away at the first place since Buzzoff has maintained cooperation with the food storage company for many years. It is possible that Buzzoff had severe operation sloppiness according to their past records, therefore,the food storage company assigned their services to the location Wintervile where the amount of food stored is not as worthy as the food which Buzzoff was responsible for protecting before the interference of Fly-Away. Besides of this, Palm city is very likely to experience summer when the productivity of pests is at the peak,while,for Wintervile,the season might be winter,the cold weather would kill a great portion of pests as well as prevent the reproducing circle by a relative low temperature.
Secondly,there is no evidence to show what is the Flay-Away’s performances on other food locations where share more similarities with Wintervile,neither its past performance records. It is very likely that the performance on last month was an aberration since there are tons of natural,exterior reasons that could affect the qualities of pest control services,name economy,inclement weather,lack of human resources because of holidays a few.Considering all these alternative explanations,it is much likely the performance of Fly-Away would bounce back to its normal, professional level once it gets control of every variables at hand especially this month might be the first month for Fly-Away working for this food storage company. Therefore,a wealth of money would be saved with the superior services offered by Fly-Away which could ensure a low rate of pest damage and a relative low price.
Last but not least,saving money for food storage company has to achieve a equilibrium balance between costs and revenue. If the food storage company could not distribute its storage effectively or the consumption of the products of the company do not receive the same degree of popularity,then the profits would decline so as to the objective of saving money would not be accomplished .Without further investigation about the acceptance rate of products of the company at market,it is unfair and unreasonable to conclude the a great deal of money would eventually be saved even though Buzzoff would minimize the pest damage with not so high service price.
To sum up,the argument is unpersuasive and unconvincing if it stays the same way of reasoning without gaping foregoing assumptions. To better justify the conclusion.the arguer has to demonstrate the similarities between Wintervile and Palm City. To further strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to consider other factors that would contribute to the overall profits of the food storage company,not merely focus on pest control.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- NOT OK. You should not guess or ask data out of the topic.
argument 3 -- OK
flaws:
No. of Words: 583 350 //content is not well organized. Less content wanted but right on the point. For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 583 350
No. of Characters: 2962 1500
No. of Different Words: 271 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.914 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.081 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.707 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 223 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 176 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.934 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5