When the time comes to commence full-time employment, individuals who have graduated from university deserve a higher salary than those who have not.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Whether or not students graduate from universities to become full-time employees to be paid higher salary than others who do not have any degrees has been a hotly debated issue. Some people support for being paid higher for these highly well-qualified workers. To my mind, I completely agree with this viewpoint for several reasons.
First of all, people who have graduated from universities to be a high quality of human resource. They were well-trained and well-equipped with special professional skills to become the best employees to meet requirements of the labour market. Furthermore, with their specific knowledge, these skilled workers will be likely to make a huge contribution to social-economic development of the country. Therefore, they have a right to deserve a higher wage than those who do not have any degrees.
Another an important reason is that studying at universities costs learners a large amount of money. It cannot be denied that students must pay different fees at universities. Therefore, some of them have to borrow money from banks or their relatives to fulfill their financial obligation with universities. If employers pay salary for these people as highly as other unskilled workers, it will be impossible to encourage skilled workers to devote their capacity to the economy. Moreover, it can be said that higher salary for highly well-qualified workers may be considered as an adequate compensation with their efforts as well as their financial loss due to fees.
It seems to me that it is absolutely essential to pay higher salary for skilled employees than those who do not have. This has been regarded as a crucial encouragement for these workers. Economy will get many benefits from this policy of the employers.
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Whether or not students graduate from universities to become full-time employees to be paid higher salary than others who do not have any degrees has been a hotly debated issue.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
people who have graduated from universities to be a high quality of human resource.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
Flaws:
You have sentence structure issues.
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'I, They, We...') as the subject of a sentence.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1441 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.092 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.934 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.622 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5