There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the argument, there are two places, one of them is small town Leeville and the other one is large city Masonton. The author claimed that Leeville's relaxed pace life promotes better health and greater longevity than Masonton who has hectic pace. And also the business in small town reports that Leeville pople use less sick day than Masonton, and moreover they have only one physician for one thousand resident of Leeville. However this proportion, physician to resident, is five times higher in Masonton. And finally he claimed that small town residents' average age is significantly higher than the large city. All these claims show that Leeville allows residents to live longer and healthier lives. However, author's idea is supported with insufficient information to make a decision.
Firstly, his assumptions only reinforced with words, in anywhere of the argument we are not able to see any numbers for age. He mentioned only small town residents has better health and greater longevity. But he did not give us exact information how many years Leville resident live longer than Masonton. Moreover, we are not informed about maybe all young generation moved to Masontown to work, maybe small town's work circumstances are not adequate for young generation. Maybe in this small town only elderly people live, to articulate which place has greater longevity we need an information of how demographic both cities, who mostly live in there.
Additionally, there is only one physician for one thousand of resident of Leeville, but this proportion is 5 times more in Masonton. The author implied that if the physician number is more, that is mean large city residents needs more health issue than small town. Because of this their physician numbers are higher than small town. However, this higher proportion is also shows maybe their medical services are better than small town, they may more responsible with their patient. Nevertheless, it also gives us an idea of, maybe population in large city much more than small town and the more physician is over there, and also it could be large city has more universities as a result of this, maybe they have more physician. His assumptions are really myopic like how depended his idea that he only consider small town people more healthy, in consequence of this they have one physician.
And also, physicians are responsible from physical status of our body, their profession is not sufficient to deal with important disease, like diabetes, high blood pressure, hearth problems. how he assumed that physicians can help residents to live longer, nevertheless how one physician is enough for one thousand people. He never mentions about how many doctors in both place, which is more comparing to residents to land ratio?
Moreover, he mentioned about sick days usage also, which is low in small town oppositely it is high in Masanton. Regardless of this little information, we can say that maybe more population creates more sickness, whoever gets sick in large city, and the rest of the population prone to sick as well. Because in large cities people live so close each other, on the other hand small town people's house far from each other, and also their work are and people proportion is much lower density than large city, which creates naturally more sick days.
In conclusion, his assumptions are not enough to give our final decision that small towns relaxed pace makes people live longer and healthier. The author should inquire additional information, like how is the distribution of population, what kind of business both region have, how many doctor are there in both place. All after these supplementary information he can give his decision.
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Sentence: The author implied that if the physician number is more, that is mean large city residents needs more health issue than small town.
Description: The fragment residents needs more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace needs with need
Sentence: And also the business in small town reports that Leeville pople use less sick day than Masonton, and moreover they have only one physician for one thousand resident of Leeville.
Error: pople Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 609 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 609 350
No. of Characters: 3020 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.968 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.959 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.423 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.096 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.208 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5