Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
There are some people who believe that these days people allocate more time for doing things they should do rather than doing things they enjoy to do. on the other hand, there are some other people who take the opposite view and argue that people today devote most of their times to personal enjoyment rather than doing their duties. but I generally disagree with this statement that these days people spend lots of their times on personal recreation instead of doing their responsibilities. In other words, from my point of view, most people today primarily spend their times on doing things they have to do and they just allocate the small portion of their schedule for personal enjoymant. Among countless reasons which can support my idea I pinpoint two most conspicuous ones through frollowing paragraghs.
First of all, one should take into account this significant fact that we have comparatively well-organized society. As far as I am concerned inoder to have well-organized community almost all people should spend most of their times on doing their duties instead of personal enjoyment. The question that comes to mind at this moment is that what happen if people in every society spend huge time on personal enjoyment instead of doing their duties? to answer this question maybe we can assert that obviously the public regularity will be distrupted. there fore, we will have disorganized community and the chaos or disorder will dominate in the society. As a result people can't progress under these circumstances.
Another equally noteworthy point supporting my oppinion is that we have developed and advanced community. In my opinion, the prerequisite for having progressive society is the alliance and association between people which itself requires devotion or dedication of nearly all people in the society. As a matter of fact, each person should spend most of his or her time on doing his or her responsibilities in order to have advanced community. According to statistics released by a recent sociology research in our country, almost all advanced societies have people who make commitment to allocate more than eighty percent of their lifes for doing their duties and less than twenty percent for having fun and pleasure.
However what I said above should not be overgeneralized. That is, there are few people who allocate the major part of their schedule for personal enjoyment rather than diong their duties. these people constitute the minority community. They believe that every person should do whatever he or she like instead of what he or she is obliged to do. For instance, I remember when I was in highschool, I had a friend who rarely did her asignments. She most of the time was engaged in the painting which she was really interested in.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead us to the conclusion that, these days the majority community of people spend significant amount of their times on doing their functions and allocate only a slight part of their schedule for doing activities they enjoy to do because of the existence of well-organized society and advanced community.
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we have comparatively well-organized society.
we have a comparatively well-organized society.
what happen if people in every society spend
what happens if people in every society spend
we have developed and advanced community
we have a developed and advanced community
Sentence: In other words, from my point of view, most people today primarily spend their times on doing things they have to do and they just allocate the small portion of their schedule for personal enjoymant.
Error: enjoymant Suggestion: enjoyment
Sentence: Among countless reasons which can support my idea I pinpoint two most conspicuous ones through frollowing paragraghs.
Error: paragraghs Suggestion: paragraphs
Error: frollowing Suggestion: following
Sentence: As far as I am concerned inoder to have well-organized community almost all people should spend most of their times on doing their duties instead of personal enjoyment.
Error: inoder Suggestion: ?
Sentence: The question that comes to mind at this moment is that what happen if people in every society spend huge time on personal enjoyment instead of doing their duties? to answer this question maybe we can assert that obviously the public regularity will be distrupted. there fore, we will have disorganized community and the chaos or disorder will dominate in the society.
Error: distrupted Suggestion: disrupted
Sentence: Another equally noteworthy point supporting my oppinion is that we have developed and advanced community.
Error: oppinion Suggestion: opinion
Sentence: That is, there are few people who allocate the major part of their schedule for personal enjoyment rather than diong their duties. these people constitute the minority community.
Error: diong Suggestion: doing
Sentence: For instance, I remember when I was in highschool, I had a friend who rarely did her asignments.
Error: highschool Suggestion: high school
Error: asignments Suggestion: assignments
flaws:
No. of Words: 517 while No. of Different Words: 227
The content in the second and third paragraph are duplicated.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 517 350
No. of Characters: 2576 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.768 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.983 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.856 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5