The following appeared in the business section of a newspaper.
"Given that the number of people in our country with some form of arthritis is expected to rise from 40 million to 60 million over the next twenty years, pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs for the treatment of arthritis should be very profitable. Many analysts believe that in ten years Becton Pharmaceuticals, which makes Xenon, the best-selling drug treatment for arthritis, will be the most profitable pharmaceutical company. But the patent on Xenon expires in three years, and other companies will then be able to produce a cheaper version of the drug. Thus, it is more likely that in ten years the most profitable pharmaceutical company will be Perkins Pharmaceuticals, maker of a new drug called Xylan, which clinical studies show is preferred over Xenon by seven out of ten patients suffering from the most extreme cases of arthritis."
The author of this memo states that the Becton Pharmaceuticals will be profitable than now because the number of people suffering from arthritis will be escalated in the future but in the ten years the Xylan drug produced by Perkin company pharmaceutical company take over the place of current company named Becton' drug named Xenon since the patent of Xylan will be expired and other companies can produce much cheaper drug for arthritis and in the accomplished survey Xenon had a great result which seven out of ten patient prefer the Xenon. Close scrutiny of above facts reveals that the mentioned assumptions are based on doubtful facts.
First of all, the arguer assumes that the number of patient suffering the arthritis will be increases and in result the income and profit of the company also will be escalated. The author fails to see the fact that may be because of organized program of the government of ministry of health and advertisement of media number of people who are suffered from the arthritis will be diminished since and habits like going to the gym and eating healthful food. This is only assumption and there is no solid evidence behind it, so the author argument lends little credible support to approve it.
Second, the patent of drug of Becton Company will be expired and other companies especially Perking can get the position of Becton and this means that the Perkin will be preferable company which presents the cheaper drug for patients. But, it is entirely possible that the quality of the Perkin be low and patients never take risk to wasting their money and their health for consuming the Perking company's drug. Producing the drug needs high professional experts and researcher and quality is significant than any factors which perhaps the Perkins will not be able to produce the same drug.
Finally, the memo states that outcome of a study shows that seven out of ten patient were satisfied from Xenon. This point is not convincing since the author claims that seven out of ten people suffering from extreme type of arthritis while a reasonable survey must cover a wide range of patients form other types. It is beneficial that the survey get opinion of doctors and researcher not only patient. Researcher must make decision about the authenticity of this drug on other patients.
To sum up, the author of this memo arise some doubtful assumptions about the future of two companied in producing drug for people suffered arthritis and assumes that the Perkins company will be favorable and profitable company in ten years. To bolster these arguments, I would need to know the detailed information about study on patients and their ages and type of arthritis they have. I would also need to know about the quality for Perking company' drug and its available source of facilities for producing high quality drug.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2019-02-13 | juliettepeng | 82 | view |
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Sentence: To sum up, the author of this memo arise some doubtful assumptions about the future of two companied in producing drug for people suffered arthritis and assumes that the Perkins company will be favorable and profitable company in ten years.
Error: companied Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. read this: other companies will then be able to produce a cheaper version of the drug. first of all, how is the efficiency of the drug? second, the Becton Pharmaceuticals can decrease the price too.
argument 3 -- not exactly. first, it is only for clinical studies. second, the result is for 'the most extreme cases of arthritis'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 481 350
No. of Characters: 2337 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.683 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.859 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.488 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.264 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5