Do you agree or disagree with the following: young people nowadays do not give enough time to help the community.
Each community has its own needs. As citizens, we all should get together to help our society to bloom. Inviting young people in the participation of the improvement of our community is an important aspect. Some people believe that youths, nowadays, are engaged in helping our community. Others disagree. In my personal view, I believe that young people are not helping enough our community for many reasons.
First of all, parents may influence how their kids become in the future. They play a tremendous role of engaging their kids in the community. Nowadays, everybody is busy in doing something. Many children, since a very young age, are exposed to technological gadgets like Tablets and iPads, and all what they think is how to spend a good time. Parents, unfortunately, are encouraging this behavior and they don't see the future consequences of the overuse of these items. Kids learn how to not deal with the reality and grow up with "I don't care" attitude. For example, as a teacher in a preschool, I can see kids every day caring less about what they should do, like to put their toys away after they are done or to organize their books or any material that they used, because simply, they reflect what, in their houses, are use to do. Moreover, it seems that parents are not putting much effort instilling responsibility in their kids., therefore, those kids will grow up without caring about their communities if they don't even care about helping their parents at home, how can we expect from them to be involved in helping our society.
Second, the grow of careless feeling decrease the willing to help. Furthermore, "I don't care" attitude has a negative impact on willingness to help those who are in need. For instance, every day we are confronted in social media, or television, to horrific images, showing consequences of wars and disasters. Every day people are killed or injured and we get further and further desensitized to these kinds of pictures, it becomes something normal to see. Besides that, we see homeless everywhere, they may be sleeping outside in freezing weather and many people will pass by without intervening because simply people don't care anymore about others pain, we are very consumed by our own problems and lives as a result, young people will copy what adults are doing, they learn from us, and, indeed, some of us are bad example. we influence young people's behavior to not help our community and not be engaged that much.
In sum, young people are not helping their community not just because they don't have time but because they are not interested to do so. Also, we all should review our behavior and the way how we raise our kids to have responsible human beings.
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Sentence: In my personal view, I believe that young people are not helping enough our community for many reasons.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, post-determiner is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to enough and our
Sentence: Kids learn how to not deal with the reality and grow up with 'I don't care' attitude.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
Sentence: Besides that, we see homeless everywhere, they may be sleeping outside in freezing weather and many people will pass by without intervening because simply people don't care anymore about others pain, we are very consumed by our own problems and lives as a result, young people will copy what adults are doing, they learn from us, and, indeed, some of us are bad example. we influence young people's behavior to not help our community and not be engaged that much.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and pain
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
flaws:
Need to use examples for young people in the second paragraph.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2177 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.603 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.524 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.062 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.461 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5