The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams below illustrate the silkworm’s life cycle and the step of silk cloth production. Both of those information contained on each scheme will be described in the following paragraph.
The first paragraph portrays the four phases of silkworm’s life. To begin with, the eggs form need 10 days to be able to transformed into silkworm larva, whereas in this stage requires mulberry leaf as their nutrients. The next step requisite longer time span than the previously, for around 4-6 weeks to become silk thread which has larva. Then, after this phase accomplished, they transform into cocoon during 3-6 days, which is the preparation step to become the moth within 16 days. Those phase will reprocess over and over again.
Moving to the second diagram, which has description of five stages of silk cloth’s process. The first step is cocoon selection, which is ready to be boiled in the water. After that, the unwinding stage involve thread measurement for approximately 300-900m. The forth step is twisting the thread as ready to be dyed, and the final step is weaving the silk to make cloth production ready.
To sums up, there are four steps of producing cocoon, through the silkworm life stage, and five steps to make it all set for silk cloth manufacture.
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to be able to transformed into silkworm larva,
to be able to be transformed into silkworm larva,
whereas in this stage requires mulberry leaf as their nutrients
whereas in this stage it requires mulberry leaf as their nutrients
The next step requisite longer time span
The next step requisites a longer time span
after this phase accomplished,
after this phase is accomplished,
Sentence: The next step requisite longer time span than the previously, for around 4-6 weeks to become silk thread which has larva.
Description: The fragment the previously , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace previously with adjective
the unwinding stage involve thread measurement
the unwinding stage involves thread measurement
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Don't forget verbs in a sentence
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 213 200
No. of Characters: 1025 1000
No. of Different Words: 123 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.82 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.812 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.461 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 41 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.482 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4