agree/ disagree ? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.
The world population is rapidly growing. Requirements of these people proportionally are increasing. Therefore, over time commuters need more transportation options to get to their works. However, I believe by 2036 we will have fewer cars than today for following reasons.
First, using more cars means more air pollution. “Cars contributed in more than half of the carbon monoxide and nitrogen oxides in 2013.” In addition, air pollution carries several risks for human health and environments. As much as human knowledge are expanding about detrimental effects of motor vehicles, are utilizing fewer cars. As a case in point is china, since economic development from 2 decades ago the number of commuters who use their own cars has been tripled. Although these people could get to work on time, the amount of air pollution is as high as they could not breathe easily and it is essential to wear a mask. In addition, the number of diseases which is directly or indirectly related to air pollution such as brain stroke, arterial heart disease, and COPD has been doubled since 20 years ago, based on a report by The China Weather. Therefore, we will have to use fewer cars in the future to be able to be alive and healthy.
Secondly, using more cars occupies more space. As a result, we will not only have enough places for driving but also for not enjoying our environment. Getting stuck in traffic jams for hours, is one of the consequences of using more cars. Traffic jams waste our time, worsen air quality and try our patience. One recent published article in New York Times puts “the price of commuter delays at more than $ 100 billion in the United States” in 2014. London which is a pioneer country in using fewer private cars, has extended its public transportation twelve time compared to 20 years ago and applied congestion charging and other similar rules to encourage people to not use their own cars, the result is having more places for bus and bicycle lanes and healthy air to breathe.
To sum up, having a private car has its own benefits, however at the end we would have more polluted air and less space to live. Therefore, in my point of view, governments will have to apply rules to convince people to use more public transportation and other green options such as biking or walking in order to using fewer cars in the future.
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we will not only have enough places for driving but also for not enjoying our environment.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
to encourage people to not use their own cars
to encourage people not to use their own cars
flaws:
The essay is not about the disadvantages of 'using more cars', but why by 2036 we will have fewer cars than today. for example, even if there are a lot of disadvantages of 'using more cars', still people may use more cars later.
better change the reasons from:
First, using more cars means more air pollution.
Secondly, using more cars occupies more space.
to:
First, people will have more awareness on air pollution 20 years later.
Secondly, there will be less space available for cars.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 1889 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.641 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.486 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.507 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.315 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5