Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The whole argument seems to be made in order to attract students but gives only general idea about the Pirouettes Ballet School, the teachers and students. So it should be presented with appropriate facts and evidences to increase the intensity of its fame.
The first point in the argument is weak, because it presents obviousness about the Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child but failed to presents reasons and actual facts about it. The argument should have mentioned why the ballet school is clear choice for child. In order to do that, it also should have mentioned about the other ballet schools in the locality, and why students do not want to go there. Also, this point can be supported with the type of opportunities the Pirouettes Ballet School is providing as a ballet dancer to children than those provided by other ballet schools. The "clear choice" phrase in the argument should have supported with the previous responses as well as with the present responses that the school is getting. Also the what is the min. age limit that is allowed in the school. Is there any relation of "clear choice" phrase with this age limit- as Pirouettes Ballet School allows lower age limit children; and thus parents are willing to enroll their child in it. All of these facts will support the argument.
The second point in the argument looks weak too, again because of generalization. The argument says that, of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. In here, argument have not mentioned the facts about the intensive programs conducted in the school. The comparative study of programs with other ballet schools could have strengthen the argument. Also about teachers, it fails to explain the facts that actually how many teachers have danced all over the world and number of prestigious ballet dancing companies. Facts about this could have strengthen the argument; by showing that the Pirouettes Ballet School can provide top most ballet dancing teachers than other schools.
The third point in the argument says that many of Pirouettes Ballet School's students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. In here, again argument shows generalization. The argument should have mentioned the number of students passed out and their records when they are in the school. The name of top dancing companies and their influence in the ballet dancing world should have mentioned. Total number of students gone to become professional dancers with top dancing companies, along with facts and evidences about their performances in the world and achievements should have mentioned.
All of the above mentioned examples, facts and evidences should have mentioned in order to make argument more factual rather than generalization. It is clear from the argument that it is an advertisement, or praising statements about the school. It does not seem to be selling, but with appropriate facts and evidences argument will look more intense and perfect.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2016-10-09 | abhijit5oct | 62 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'present'.
Suggestion: present
...lear choice for any child but failed to presents reasons and actual facts about it. The ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 178, Rule ID: ACTUAL_EXPERIENCE[1]
Message: Use simply 'facts'.
Suggestion: facts
...hild but failed to presents reasons and actual facts about it. The argument should have ment...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 777, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...t responses that the school is getting. Also the what is the min. age limit that is ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 449, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
...ms with other ballet schools could have strengthen the argument. Also about teachers, it f...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 474, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ols could have strengthen the argument. Also about teachers, it fails to explain the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 668, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
... companies. Facts about this could have strengthen the argument; by showing that the Pirou...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
... achievements should have mentioned. All of the above mentioned examples, facts and evi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'but', 'first', 'look', 'second', 'so', 'then', 'third', 'thus', 'well', 'as well as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.270318021201 0.25644967241 105% => OK
Verbs: 0.15371024735 0.15541462614 99% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0795053003534 0.0836205057962 95% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0406360424028 0.0520304965353 78% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0282685512367 0.0272364105082 104% => OK
Prepositions: 0.13074204947 0.125424944231 104% => OK
Participles: 0.0512367491166 0.0416121511921 123% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.66012975289 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0229681978799 0.026700313972 86% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.113074204947 0.113004496875 100% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0247349823322 0.0255425247493 97% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0123674911661 0.0127820249294 97% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3144.0 2731.13054187 115% => OK
No of words: 511.0 446.07635468 115% => OK
Chars per words: 6.15264187867 6.12365571057 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75450408675 4.57801047555 104% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.369863013699 0.378187486979 98% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.268101761252 0.287650121315 93% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.205479452055 0.208842608468 98% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.127201565558 0.135150697306 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66012975289 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 207.018472906 93% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.377690802348 0.469332199767 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 42.9864611577 52.1807786196 82% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.039408867 125% => OK
Sentence length: 20.44 23.2022227129 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.0534494534 57.7814097925 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.76 141.986410481 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.44 23.2022227129 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.48 0.724660767414 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 3.58251231527 195% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 47.2501761252 51.9672348444 91% => OK
Elegance: 2.03174603175 1.8405768891 110% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.605394413838 0.441005458295 137% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.189050293913 0.135418324435 140% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.11493254546 0.0829849096947 138% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.5938959089 0.58762219726 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.136080203488 0.147661913831 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.260242316882 0.193483328276 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124394372814 0.0970749176394 128% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.509773275553 0.42659136922 119% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0992813687339 0.0774707102158 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.400958750263 0.312017818177 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123623799867 0.0698173142475 177% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.33743842365 120% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.87684729064 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.82512315271 62% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 11.0 5.36822660099 205% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 21.0 14.657635468 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.