The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument that a jazz music club in the Monroe city will be highly profitable as jazz is very popular in the city and the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, may seem to be logical at the first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that could be correct if its premises were true. However, his conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no supporting evidence and terms that lack definition.
First, the author has assumed that a large population of Monroe is addicted to jazz and will be willing to frequent the potential jazz club C-Note. The author has based this assum...
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Sentence: If the author were to quote some local survey showing that Monroe residents do spend a considerable sum on jazz annully, it would steengthen his argument.
Error: steengthen Suggestion: strengthen
Error: annully Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 539 350
Put a space after punctuation marks (We have corrected them in your essays. But don't forget it in real test). E-rater is sensitive.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 539 350
No. of Characters: 2522 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.818 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.679 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.439 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.697 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.783 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5