The following appeared in a letter to the
editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular
form of transportation, the population increases to
100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the
number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians,
the town council of Balmer Island should limit the
number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental
companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the
summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the
town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction
in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the
neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town
council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
In the letter, the author claims that in order to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, B island need to limit amount of moped. To support the claim,he cites various evidence to justify the claim. Close scrutiny each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the claim.
First, the author unfairly assume that the number of the moped is too large to cause lots of accidents so that they need to limit rental of moped.however, the letter provide no evidence to substantiate the assumption. Lacking such evidence it is entirely possible that a large part of accidents in B island are ascribed to motors or cars instead of moped whose harm power is not enough to cause death of pedestrians. Besides, perhaps most of the accidents are result from poor quality of the roads which is not flat at all. Thus, when mopeds run on its kind roads, it's difficult for the drivers to control balance of mopeds at all time which improve incidence of transportation accidents.
Secondly, even if most of accidents due to mopeds, however, they do not necessarily indicates that all the accidents would happen in summer. Perhaps,nearly all the accidents occur during winter when roads are frozen and then so smooth which it's dangerous for not only mopeds but also pedestrians as well. Therefore, without ruling out other possible reasons for original of accidents, the author's claim cannot convince me on the basis of the cause of accidents, let alone the alleged claim that to limit the the number of rentals of mopeds in order to reduce accidents number.
Thirdly, the analogy B island to S island accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the claim. Each of these two islanda has own particular transportation situations. It's possible that besides limiting the number of moped, S island puts other idea in practice to reduce the accidents which actually play a role, such as improving the quality of the roads and the public awareness the importance of safety driving. In the letter, the author does not introduce the whole strategys adopted by S island and he cannot deduce the result of B island from S island's rashly.
In sum, the author's claim is not persuasive. To bolster it he must provide better evidence that(1)the number of moped is too large to cause many accidents and (2)nearly all of the accidents occur in winter, so it's necessarily to limit the rental of mopeds in summer.(3) B and C share the same transportation situation, so it's logical to compare B with C island.
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2012-04-26 | sheepfei199184 | 75 | view |
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Sentence: First, the author unfairly assume that the number of the moped is too large to cause lots of accidents so that they need to limit rental of moped.however, the letter provide no evidence to substantiate the assumption.
Description: The fragment letter provide no is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, past tense
Sentence: Therefore, without ruling out other possible reasons for original of accidents, the author's claim cannot convince me on the basis of the cause of accidents, let alone the alleged claim that to limit the the number of rentals of mopeds in order to reduce accidents number.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to accidents and number
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2053 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.741 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.566 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5