The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company.
"In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend producing brushes. We believe that this policy will lead to the production of more and better brushes, will allow us to reduce our staff size, and will enable the company factories to operate for fewer hours — resulting in savings on electricity and security costs. These changes will ensure that the best workers keep their jobs and that the company will earn a profit in the coming year."
The president of National Brush Company claims that wants to set a new policy for saving money. He/she explains that employees will be charged base on their brush which produce; this means quantity whereas, spending time for producing brush will not be came into account anymore. According to this fact, size staff, the work hours and consuming electricity and security costs will be diminished. In this claim, the president merely represents a general description of the policy and never expands it in details and concerning some questions such as what will happen to the quality and unemployeds? And more such questions.
The president explains that by increasing of brushes, less labor and working houre will be alloted and more money will be saved. However, he/she never pay attention to the quality of the brushes. A question will be raised; if the quantity will be increases, the quality will be also enhanced? The answer is defenitly NO. If the brushes lose their quality, the amount of sale will be decreased. Hence, there would never be any gaining money to be saved!!!
The president declares that if some employees fired, an increasing in saving money will happen, but the question is that what will happen to the unemployees? Are they will be satisfied in this policy? The answer is simple: NO. In this case, might even unemployees try to start a negative advertisment against the company and this movement will cause the decreasing purchase by people. Hence, the total revenue will be diminished and the money for saving will be lost!
He/she claims that the costs of electricity and security will be controled based on reducing working houre. However, he/she never clarify how much or even how percent it will affect the total saving money? Is its impact major or minor? Hence, he/she must present more detail about the electricity and security.
As a summary, this statement which the president of Nation Brush Company has made is in a weak situation and for proving, needs more explanation and supporting details.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-08-25 | hossein021 | 75 | view |
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Sentence: The answer is defenitly NO. If the brushes lose their quality, the amount of sale will be decreased.
Error: defenitly Suggestion: definitely
Sentence: He/she claims that the costs of electricity and security will be controled based on reducing working houre.
Error: houre Suggestion: hour
Error: controled Suggestion: controlled
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1640 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.781 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.469 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.159 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5