The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a cafe in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the cafe would attract more customers. Space couls be made for the cafe by discontinuing the chidren's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicateda significant decline in the percentage of the population under ten. Opening a cafe will allow Monarch to attract more customers and beter compete with regal Books, which recently opened its cafe."
The author of this argument recommends that Monarch Books must open a cafe in its store to attract more customers. He further states that the space of Chidren's book section should be replaced by the cafe because of the probability of this section becoming less popular. He also concledes that opening a cafe would help Monarch to compete better with Regal book store. This conclusion, however is flawed. It is based on illogical and erroneous assumptions and hence the author fails to convince me.
First of all, the author has not taken into consideration what its loyal base of customers want. He has not surveyed his customers if they would like the introduction of a cafe in Monarch. The author fails to consider that his customers keep coming back because they find Monarch a homely place, since it has been doing business in the same area for twenty years. The introduction of the cafe may backfire because it will start appearing like a commercial structure to its loyal customers. Customers look for peace and silence in book stores. The customers would stop coming altogether because of the noise and clamor in the cafe.
Secondly, the author makes a huge mistake by assuming that the chidren's section could be easily replaced by the cafe. This decision relies on futuristic reports provided by unreliable sources. The author assumes that chidren's section would become less popular in the future. But, relialing on the underlying uncertainty in that prediction could ruin Monarch's profits.Hence, the author must consider his own store statistics to decide if the children's section is profitable or not. By doing this, he may realize that it is the chidrens section that brings maximum profit and attracts the largest crowd of customers to his store and razing this section would do more harm than good. The cafe would never be able to attract as many customers.
Finally, the author fallaciously assumes that by opening an cafe he would be able to better compete with Regal books. There is no guarantee that the cafe would attract customers. However, if Monarch's pretige lies in the fact that it sells a wide selection of books on all subjects, he author must consider expanding this selection. He must improve its marketing and publicity strategies or offer discounts to attract more customers rather than be blinded by the idea of opening a cafe.
In conclusion, the author does not provide enough evidence and assumes too much to prove that opening an cafe would be successful to attract customers. Ultimately, he must provide more proof and conduct surveys to attract more customers.
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- The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a cafe in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because i 85
Sentence: He also concledes that opening a cafe would help Monarch to compete better with Regal book store.
Error: concledes Suggestion: concludes
Sentence: By doing this, he may realize that it is the chidrens section that brings maximum profit and attracts the largest crowd of customers to his store and razing this section would do more harm than good.
Error: chidrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: However, if Monarch's pretige lies in the fact that it sells a wide selection of books on all subjects, he author must consider expanding this selection.
Error: pretige Suggestion: ?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2129 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.894 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.526 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.913 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.857 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5