"Too much emphasis has been placed on the need for students to challenge the assertions of others. In fact, the ability to compromise and work with others—that is, the ability to achieve social harmony—should be a major goal in every school."
There are a vast number of people who always live in a smooth way and, never try to have a controversial and challenging feature. In the contrary, some people like to act in a debating manner and wants to have the ability for challenging the assertion of others; such this people are most likely success in their profession and education; moreover, they will gain a great ability in judging and evaluating situations as make a proper decision. In addition, these kind of people are capable in introducing themselves as a prosperous person. Hence, I support the statement because of the subsequent reasons.
Firstly, all of us are supposed to live in the real society in future and, we must be prepared for it in an appropriate way because it is our duty to manage our career, evaluate diffrent situations and finally make a suitable decision. All of these aims will not be achieved unless we have learned and prepared well in the beginning period of school. We must be nurtured in a manner to be able challenging the assertion of others that could evaluate it. For example, my brother was so shiny person who was mostly eager to be alone and never tried to have even simple conversation with others. Nevertheless, his teacher could direct him in a way that could be capable to communicate with others. After a while, he not only could convey with all of his friends and teachers but also was able to present himself as a potent student among all students. Hence, the ability of challenging produce the ability of judgment, making decision and action in a proper way.
Secondly, the feature of challenging cause people that can present themselves as a prosperous person who has a lot of ability and even can be selected as a unique person for a distinct responsibility. I still vividly remember the day that my brother firstly started as a boss in an institution. Based on this characteristic, he could burden himself to others and was renowned as a successful man until he now is the mayor of our city. This trait could progress him very quickly and, I have no doubt that he will be promoted more than today.
As a summary, the ability of challenging the assertion of others, will get power to people that can make a proper evaluation of the situation, make a proper decision and finally act in a good manner; moreover, this feature will lead people to be more successful in their future life.
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2013-09-30 | hossein021 | 70 | view |
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Sentence: In the contrary, some people like to act in a debating manner and wants to have the ability for challenging the assertion of others; such this people are most likely success in their profession and education; moreover, they will gain a great ability in judging and evaluating situations as make a proper decision.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and people
Sentence: Firstly, all of us are supposed to live in the real society in future and, we must be prepared for it in an appropriate way because it is our duty to manage our career, evaluate diffrent situations and finally make a suitable decision.
Error: diffrent Suggestion: different
flaws:
Some improvements:
Encouraging students to think critically does not necessarily conflict with our pursuit of social harmony.
1. Critical thinking is key to students both academically and politically.
2. It is necessary for students to criticize the views of each other in their studies, which does not necessarily lead to conflicts among them.
3. Compromising is harmful in academic pursuits.
You may not use 'not only...but also' in the essays. Sometimes it is not used properly.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 421 350
No. of Characters: 1931 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.53 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.587 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.672 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.205 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5