TOEFL essay: Should a factory be built in your community?
Having a factory near one's community has great advantages. It creates many jobs, which are mainly occupied by the neighbor settlers. And it can bring global fame toward a place, depending on how great and well known it will become. But that is not all it brings. It also creates many undesirable affects for the community like noise, pollution and traffic. Based on these we can divide the effects of building a factory into its advantages and disadvantages.
At first, one of the advantages which are the great job opportunities a factory has can sometimes save a small town. There are some little towns in Iran that if they did not have some factories in them, its settlers would have left the place. The two small towns of Moorchekhort and Lashotor in the province of Esfahan can be mentioned as good examples representing this fact. Another example can be Esfahan's carpet making factories which has brought many jobs to this city's boys and girls.
Second part goes to the disadvantages, like the environmental issues a factory has. One factory can make all kinds of pollution such as air, water, noise and even light pollution. In Esfahan again, Mobarakeh steel complex makes a lot of air pollution. Although it has many air filters installed in its stacks but there are still much unwanted dust and toxic gas released in the air that makes a great cloud above the factory. There are many nature lovers that usually make protests against the operation of this factory but still have not succeeded in stopping or even reducing its pollution. Another affect is the traffic jam created by the crossing of many heavy vehicles that carry the product or raw material from the factory outside or vice versa.
Last, but not least, it should be mentioned that not all factories have the mentioned disadvantages but almost all of the factories have the brought up advantages. The small factories that are mostly in the industrial zones around cities have had much for their neighbors without almost any side effects. I can mention the bakeries, carpet making factories and shoe making factories.
Considering the pros and cons a factory nearby can have, which is greatly based on what product that factory creates itself one can decide whether it is a good idea to have such a factory around. Although many factories have brought bright future for its surrounding community but there have been some factories that their disadvantages are much more than their advantages. And that creates a big "NO" for building such a factory in one's community.
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Sentence: At first, one of the advantages which are the great job opportunities a factory has can sometimes save a small town.
Description: The fragment the great job is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to has and can
Sentence: Another affect is the traffic jam created by the crossing of many heavy vehicles that carry the product or raw material from the factory outside or vice versa.
Description: The word affect is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to affect , did you mean effect
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2072 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.807 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.511 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.591 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.53 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5