The Diagram of How Chocolate is Made

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The Diagram of How Chocolate is Made

The diagram shows how the chocolate is made. First, the raw chocolate is input to cocoa graining. In this process, the waste of the raw chocolate will be separated from the cocoa liquor. After that, the cocoa liquor is divided into two lines in pressing process and the other one becomes industrial chocolate. In pressing process, the output are cocoa butter and cocoa powder.

To get the chocolate bar, cocoa butter and sugar, plus other ingredients are needed. Another output of the process is chocolate that used in food industry. It can be produced from the cocoa powder that resulted from pressing process.

The second diagram shows how the price of chocolate bar is divided up. The highest percentage of what makes the chocolate bar is different with the other is the cost of ingredients and overheads which is hold 35% of the total. The second highest factor is supermarket which hold 34%, followed by tax, chocolate company, and farmer, third to fifth respectively.

Unlike the cost of ingredients and overheads, farmer is the lowest factor to contribute in how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up, with only 4%.

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Comments

Sentence: In pressing process, the output are cocoa butter and cocoa powder.
Description: The fragment , the output is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

Sentence: The highest percentage of what makes the chocolate bar is different with the other is the cost of ingredients and overheads which is hold 35 of the total.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? A lot of grammar errors.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 192 200
No. of Characters: 906 1000
No. of Different Words: 88 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.722 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.719 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.482 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 62 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.429 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.25 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.426 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.627 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4