You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager.
In your letter
• explain why you want to take time off work
• give details of the amount of time you need
• suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
Dear Mr. Oz,
I am writing to inform you that I will need to take some time off work.
To begin with, as you may know my underage daughter will be soon released from a local hospital to home after she has partly recovered from a car accident that had happened to her this spring.
The doctor who has been supervising her during her stay in the hospital explained me that she will need my help for at least a month till her rehabilitation will be fully completed.
Consequently, if it is possible, I would like that I was released from my duties from 13th September to 13th October 2017.
Finally, I am well informed that the company is understaffed and my absence might be creating some problems. To alleviate the situation, I would like to fulfill some of my work distantly from my house via the internet. I am sure that I will be able to do a fair part of my job. This way, hopefully, I may help my beloved progeny and without making damage to the company in which I have been working for the last eight years.
Sincerely yours,
Eugene Dubinchuk
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
I would like to fulfill some of my work distantly from my house via the internet
I would like to fulfill some of my work remotely from my house via the internet
flaws:
1. The paragraphs should not be too short, Better to write three paragraphs in the essay body according to the requirements, like this:
• explain why you want to take time off work
I am writing to inform you that I will need to take some time off work. To begin with, as you may know my underage daughter will be soon released from a local hospital to home after she has partly recovered from a car accident that had happened to her this spring.
• give details of the amount of time you need
The doctor who has been supervising her during her stay in the hospital explained me that she will need my help for at least a month till her rehabilitation will be fully completed. Consequently, if it is possible, I would like that I was released from my duties from 13th September to 13th October 2017.
• suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
Finally, I am well informed ... for the last eight years.
2. read the requirement 3:
suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
it means it should be fully covered, while you told: I would like to fulfill some of my work... distantly from my house via the internet. I am sure that I will be able to do a fair part of my job.
it doesn't fit the requirements exactly.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 195 250
No. of Characters: 830 1200
No. of Different Words: 121 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.737 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.256 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.461 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 47 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 27 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.258 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.859 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, finally, if, may, so, well, at least, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 7.48453608247 120% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 4.92783505155 244% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 2.0 5.05154639175 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 3.03092783505 264% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 37.0 32.9175257732 112% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 26.3917525773 106% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.85567010309 78% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 877.0 937.175257732 94% => OK
No of words: 195.0 206.0 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.49743589744 4.54256449028 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.73687570622 3.78020617076 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54596663138 2.54303337028 100% => OK
Unique words: 119.0 127.690721649 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.610256410256 0.622605031667 98% => OK
syllable_count: 267.3 290.88556701 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.13402061856 77% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 1.44329896907 139% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 12.6804123711 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 16.3608247423 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 49.0489803068 44.8134815571 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.4444444444 76.5299724578 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6666666667 16.8248392259 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.22222222222 4.34317383033 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 2.54639175258 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 7.41237113402 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.94845360825 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148469897904 0.216113520407 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0697815945246 0.0766984524023 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114974679017 0.0603063233224 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12458349923 0.12726935374 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.169937291252 0.0580467560999 293% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 8.37731958763 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 70.7449484536 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 7.45979381443 122% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.82 8.71597938144 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.19 7.59969072165 95% => OK
difficult_words: 31.0 41.2886597938 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 8.62886597938 156% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 8.54432989691 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.