The international tourism has become cheaper and cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to welcome more tourist.Do the advantages of the international tourism out weight its disadvantages?

Essay topics:

The international tourism has become cheaper and cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to welcome more tourist.
Do the advantages of the international tourism out weight its disadvantages?

Over the last ten years, the world tourism has become more economical. The governments of each country in the world press the cost because they want to increase the number of visitors. Likewise in Indonesia, governments have built higher standardization of tourism places for visitors who come from abroad. Obviously, it brings many advantages for both of governments and tourists. Alternatively, this might cause some problems. This essay will examine the connection between these effects.

International journeys change the people’s mindset. Their mind will be opened after they visited the different places. They will find the new things that they have never got before. In Bali, for example, many visitors from abroad have changed their mind during their trip. Moreover, tourism also gives more job opportunities for local citizens who live there. For example, Indonesian citizens who lived in Bali have many chances to get more income. It shows that the high number of country’s visitors gives many advantages for the country and the inhabitants as well.

Nevertheless, tourism brings the negative effects as well. One of the main impacts is the reducing level of environments. In some cases, tourism has broken the environment around the tourism places where visitors had visited before. The high level of pollution in the rural areas which has caused by the tourism places near them, for example. Furthermore, the next dangerously effect is when tourism threats the local traditional culture. Their coming always brings new cultures which totally different with the local’s. This may change the original culture of their destination. As a result, the local people might lose their originality.

In addition, the high number of tourists may decrease the local business such as farms. This will be the next priority of governments to grow because the tax of tourism places is higher than the income from farmers. This makes governments carelessness with the local people. Accordingly, the local life could be decrease day by day.

To put them in a nutshell, I think the high number of travelers brings many positive effects to the local citizens who lived around the tourism places. Alternatively, it does not close the possibility of bad impacts, too. As a result, both of governments and visitors should give more attentions to the local life around the tourism places.

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The high level of pollution in the rural areas which has caused by the tourism places near them,
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: Furthermore, the next dangerously effect is when tourism threats the local traditional culture.
Description: The fragment next dangerously effect is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace dangerously with adjective

new cultures which totally different with the local’s.
new cultures which are totally different to the local’s.

Sentence: This makes governments carelessness with the local people.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to governments and carelessness

it does not close the possibility of bad impacts, too.
it does not close the possibility of bad impacts, either.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.329 7.5

Read a good grammar book.

Improve the language.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1945 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.598 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.329 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.464 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5