You have enough money to purchase either house or business. Which would you choose to buy?
Business has had striking improvement in recent century, as we follow the billionaires of the world, we understand they are people who invest their money on various types of business, reaching a large amount of money. Nobody can deny the significant impact of business providing an opportunity to acquire plentiful money in youth. The more money we reach, the more fortunate we would have. Maybe business is the only way for people have not much money, and they can infinite times increase their investment. As I am a sort of people who like to accept the risks and occupy myself with plethora challenges, if I had amount of money regardless of how much it is, I would try to raise it by enterprise in one specific business.
It is impossible to exaggerate business is where we can create a lot of creativities, innovations, and finding a new way to arrive to money that nobody has experienced it yet. Nowadays, we are witness of copious START UP in every field we can imagine. There is no restriction for business to go ahead and become a net in all fields. Furthermore, money makes the life of all us better, why do we eschew us to earn much more?
Admittedly, when we raised our money, we can purchase a house. If we directly with an amount of money we had at first, tried to buy a house, our money have never changed and maybe gradually it loses its value. What's more, virtually life of people is transmuted to become more challengeable and people want to take apart in some jeopardize. If someone prefers to be in constant position rather than compete in such competitions, he would be placed back of enhancements, consequently the life would be harder for him.
To wrap up, taking all aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that business is the best place for us to emerge a lot of inventions to arrive much money. Therefore, after raising our money, we can allocate a portion of it to buy a house, spend a rest of it for other satisfaction.
- As early as the twelfth century A D the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico in the American Southwest were notable for their great houses massive stone buildings that contain hundreds of rooms and often stand three or four stories high Archaeologist 73
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 90
- You have enough money to purchase either house or business. Which would you choose to buy? 75
- In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. 65
- Test 1, Delta's key (integrated writing) 70
Maybe business is the only way for people have not much money, and they can infinite times increase their investment.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? A lot of errors.
we are witness of copious...
we are witnessing of copious
Sentence: Furthermore, money makes the life of all us better, why do we eschew us to earn much more?
Description: A determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to all and us
Sentence: What's more, virtually life of people is transmuted to become more challengeable and people want to take apart in some jeopardize.
Error: challengeable Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.
Use simper words. Don't use the words you are not sure like 'jeopardize'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1563 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.479 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.066 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5