International travel has many advantages to travellers and the country being visited. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
It is true that the increasing prevalence of international tourism has been influencing visitors and local countries in various aspects. This essay will compare its strengths and weakness and argue that this development is more beneficial.
There is no doubt that individuals and countries could derive benefits from the development of international tourism. First of all, travelling worldwide is an easy way for people to learn other languages. The increasing popularity of overseas study tours in China plays a vivid example here. It is by sending school age children to visit Western countries that tremendously improves their proficiency in speaking English. Moreover, travelling across national boundaries helps people to develop a national understanding of other cultures, thereby helping them to develop into internationalized talents in the future. Furthermore, the development of international travel stimulates the local economy. This is because the surge of the tourists generates large demands in other services like accommodations and transportation, which catalyses the development of local economy.
Nevertheless, the negative impacts of international tourism also cannot be underestimated. To begin with, it imposes financial burdens to impoverish people. Specifically, it is widely recognised that travelling to a foreign country would incur large amount of expenditures such as air tickets and accommodations, which may lead to financial deficit to individuals. Additionally, compared with other industrial sectors, the promotion of international industry is pointed out to cause more threats to local environment. For instance, the use of public transport system generates a considerable amount of greenhouse gases, which results in the deterioration of the environment.
In conclusion, although international travel possesses some drawbacks, I am in support of the idea that it brings more benefits to both individuals and nations.
- Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion? 73
- The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compariso 78
- In some countries students pay their college or university fees while in some others the government pay for them Do you think the advantages that government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages 84
- The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 73
- The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 59
Comments
Essay evaluation report
It is by sending school age children to visit Western countries that tremendously improves their proficiency in speaking English.
Description: their refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
travelling across national boundaries helps people to develop a national understanding of other cultures, thereby helping them to develop into internationalized talents
Description: them refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
---------------------
flaws:
1. more sentence structures wanted. which + verb... is over used, like:
Moreover, travelling across national boundaries helps people to develop a national understanding of other cultures, thereby helping (which help) them...
This is because the surge of the tourists generates large demands in other services like accommodations and transportation, which catalyses the development of local economy.
it is widely recognised that travelling to a foreign country would incur large amount of expenditures such as air tickets and accommodations, which may lead to financial deficit to individuals.
the use of public transport system generates a considerable amount of greenhouse gases, which results in the deterioration of the environment.
2. better to put the side you support at the third paragraph, like this user did:
http://www.testbig.com/users/mabick1527
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1636 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.781 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.358 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.141 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Hi teacher, could you please
Hi teacher, could you please give me more comments about why this essay only own band 5.5. Besides the sentence structures and support paragraph sequence, Could you please give me more comments for improvement?
I appreciate your help.
When you repeat one sentence
When you repeat one sentence structure, the examiners will consider you are weak on language. and there are also pronoun issues, so the marks will be low. To learn more sentence structures, we suggest you reading following books:
New concept English --book II, there are basic sentence structures. read sentences carefully and try to imitate them. for example, inversion structure, emphasis structure, parallel structure, adverb clause, relative clauses...
New concept English --book III, read this book too. The sentences will be longer. There are more complex or compound sentences. Apply them to your essay if possible.
New concept English --book IV, read this book if you have time.
-----------------
One of your another issues is that you repeat verbs, like 'is/are'. or over use some verbs like: help, improve, may/can..., to remove this problem, read articles from VOA learning English by professional writers, they use verbs perfectly. you can read them here:
https://www.testbig.com/reading_and_listening
it updated daily. When you are reading the articles, pay attention to the verbs. The sentence structures are good to follow too.
-----------------
In the meantime, try to submit essays to testbig site and use the tips you learned from above books or sites, so we can check out whether you are improved or not.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, for instance, in conclusion, no doubt, such as, first of all, it is true, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1674.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 283.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.91519434629 5.12529762239 115% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.46225565552 2.80592935109 123% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.611307420495 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 525.6 506.74238477 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.9 1.60771543086 118% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.253941302 49.4020404114 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.6 106.682146367 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8666666667 20.7667163134 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0 7.06120827912 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153111678637 0.244688304435 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0512542077599 0.084324248473 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0459664642233 0.0667982634062 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0884954563732 0.151304729494 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0245378004569 0.056905535591 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 27.83 50.2224549098 55% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.9 11.3001002004 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 17.06 12.4159519038 137% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.83 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 78.4519038076 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.