The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument presented here associated average sleeping time with the success of their company seems not correct as the success of a farm depends on so many factors. Argument not seems cogent and many question we can raise against this argument.
Success of a farm depends upon it's employees- thats true but that can depend upon the amount of sleep they are having. One employee works only 8 hours and the rest of time what he is doing can not decided by the employer. One who wants to join a company can easily deceive the employer by saying that he sleeps less than 6 hours because that increases the chance of getting the job, so this fact can not determined by the employer that the employee is telling truth or lie. Other important factors of employees of a successful farm has not been described in the argument, Imformation such as educational background, experience etc is not mentioned, that makes the argument week as it is associating employees time of sleep rather than education, experience and experties with the success of a farm.
Study has been done only upon 300 people that too the fact they are saying can not deteremined true or false by whom who has taken the survey. The servaior was completely dependent upon the honesty of the employee which does not seems correct to conclude such an important argument. This study should be done for larger number of employees by properly observing their sleep patarn, only then after such a conclussion could be done.
Less sleep makes a person dull and boring, only a sound sleep can revitalize a person so that he can work properly, here the theory of less sleepng may not be the truth conveyed by the employees, rather more amount of sleep can help a person work more efficiently that finally added up to the performance of the company.
So the argument presented by the writer is not correct to infer that less spleep can generate high amount of efficiency that leads to success of the company. A business which wants to prosper can only depent upon prime factors suh as education, experience and not upon the sleep of the employee.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2022-07-20 | karmakar_asmi@2309 | 73 | view |
| 2022-06-17 | Soumyadip Kar | 55 | view |
| 2021-09-05 | bislam | 58 | view |
| 2021-02-19 | Ashritha Gumudavally | 60 | view |
| 2020-11-24 | wenki31 | 58 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Other important factors of employees of a successful farm has not been described in the argument, Imformation such as educational background, experience etc is not mentioned, that makes the argument week as it is associating employees time of sleep rather than education, experience and experties with the success of a farm.
Error: experties Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Study has been done only upon 300 people that too the fact they are saying can not deteremined true or false by whom who has taken the survey.
Error: deteremined Suggestion: determined
Sentence: The servaior was completely dependent upon the honesty of the employee which does not seems correct to conclude such an important argument.
Error: servaior Suggestion: serving
Sentence: This study should be done for larger number of employees by properly observing their sleep patarn, only then after such a conclussion could be done.
Error: patarn Suggestion: patron
Error: conclussion Suggestion: conclusion
Sentence: Less sleep makes a person dull and boring, only a sound sleep can revitalize a person so that he can work properly, here the theory of less sleepng may not be the truth conveyed by the employees, rather more amount of sleep can help a person work more efficiently that finally added up to the performance of the company.
Error: sleepng Suggestion: sleeping
Sentence: So the argument presented by the writer is not correct to infer that less spleep can generate high amount of efficiency that leads to success of the company.
Error: spleep Suggestion: sleep
Sentence: A business which wants to prosper can only depent upon prime factors suh as education, experience and not upon the sleep of the employee.
Error: suh Suggestion: such
Error: depent Suggestion: depend
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flaws:
The writing style is close to issue essay task not argument essay task. read a sample, like:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 368 350
No. of Characters: 1704 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.38 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.63 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.429 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.344 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 197, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun question seems to be countable; consider using: 'many questions'.
Suggestion: many questions
... factors. Argument not seems cogent and many question we can raise against this argument. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 47, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...s of a farm depends upon its employees- thats true but that can depend upon the amoun...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 198, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'decide'
Suggestion: decide
...e rest of time what he is doing can not decided by the employer. One who wants to join ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'determine'
Suggestion: determine
...f getting the job, so this fact can not determined by the employer that the employee is te...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 87, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'seem'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: seem
... honesty of the employee which does not seems correct to conclude such an important a...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, may, so, then, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1748.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 368.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50363039807 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.470108695652 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 523.8 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 77.3256102465 57.8364921388 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.666666667 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.6666666667 23.324526521 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244908754679 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0867092640199 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0596727901697 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104220020224 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0788525512772 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.95 48.3550499002 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.