Some people want to earn a large quantity of money, while others want to have comfortable life. Which one do you prefer? Please support your choice by examples.
Since the world was created, people have always wanted to satisfy to their needs.However, needs are unlimited, but the resources available in the world are scarce, such as natural resources and money. Scarcity of money leads people work hard and earn money in order to have better social and personal life. It is thought that money could buy everything which is true in most cases. Vast amount of money makes easier to access everything. In addition, as it is said, money attracts money, but if it is used wisely. Nevertheless, earning too much money contains some problems with it. For example, while people work hard, they do not always pay attention to their health, but in later time, it causes big problems. On another, more money is more risk; thus you could always be attacked to steal from you by someone such as mafia, gangsters and etc!
Being rich does not always mean to have a huge amount of money, but the real richness is to have less needs. People have only chance to live on the Earth, therefore, they should allocate their times wisely to maximize their utility from the life. People should spend times with their families and friends together and have enough leisure time. There are also some factors that money is not able to buy it, such as happiness.
Do people work to live, or live to work? That is a question, I have always asked by myself, that is why, I have decided to have a comfortable life. For me, money should not be an aim, it should be a tool which will take you to your real aims.
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flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 275 350
No. of Characters: 1200 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.364 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.068 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 40 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.436 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5