It is believe that, commercial advertisement shown on television have some bad effect on families. Discuss.

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It is believe that, commercial advertisement shown on television have some bad effect on families. Discuss.

These days, commercial advertising has become one of the important parts of human’s life. Television as a mass media shows more advertising which has some effects. Commercial advertisement encourages people to buy unnecessary goods and increase popularity of unhealthy food in societies.

Undoubtedly, commercial advertising causes we waste our time and money. The significant goal of ads is persuade people to buy new things whether they need it or not. For example, there is an advertisement on TV about a new high tech Treadmill and some friends of mine bought it because it was shown on TV. Although, they never use it. Commercial advertising causes we believe our live become better with all staff which are shown on TV or other type of mass media.

If we categorize commercial ads is some groups, obviously one of these groups will be ads about foods. These kinds of ads causes we have tend to buy industrial and junk foods like oil, cans and so on. As we know industrial foods are not very healthy especially for children. Some people believe target of these ads are children and I totally agree with them. For example, my sister has to buy some chips for her children sometimes, just because of some ads on TV.

As the final word, I believe, commercial advertisements are not very good at all. They are one of the reasons that people nowadays, are more consumer that the past. However, we cannot eliminate ads from our live, we can try to reduce effect of them on our live just with some education.

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2013-12-28 marzieh 63 view
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Sentence: They are one of the reasons that people nowadays, are more consumer that the past.
Description: The fragment one of the is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.337 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1213 1500
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.023 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.63 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.337 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.166 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5