When Stanley Park first opened, it was the largest, most heavily used public park in town. It is still the largest park, but it is no longer heavily used. Video cameras mounted in the park's parking lots last month revealed the park's drop in popularity: the recordings showed an average of only 50 cars per day. In contrast, tiny Carlton Park in the heart of the business district is visited by more than 150 people on a typical weekday. An obvious difference is that Carlton Park, unlike Stanley Park, provides ample seating. Thus, if Stanley Park is ever to be as popular with our citizens as Carlton Park, the town will obviously need to provide more benches, thereby converting some of the unused open areas into spaces suitable for socializing.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The argument suggests that the popularity of a park is relevant to whether it has the open area socializing, and by comparing Stanley park to Carlton park, author recommonds that the park with more space for socializing has higher popularity. A causual reading of the statement seems convincing, but a careful inspection brings out some loopholes in the claim. The argument is flawed in many places and cannot be accepted as reliable source of study.
First, the arugemnt recommonds that Stanley park's populairty, according the number of visiting cars recorded by the video camera, is dropping and by comparing to the number of visitors in the Caltron park is burdgeoning. However, author assumes the nuumber of visitors is equivalent to the number of cars and consequently concludes the number of people visiting Staneley park on the basis of the number of cars recorded, whereas it is not the case when it come to the Caltron park. So making a comparison between the two parks does not make any sense. If two huandred people visited Stanley car park, but only fw of them owned the cars, the evidence that author provided is all but nonsense. Furthermore, irrespective of whether there are just fifty people who owned the cars visited the Stanley car park, it is inaccurate soley dependent upon the Video camera to record the numebr of visitors since cameras are unable to cover every single corners, particularly Stanley car is the biggest the park in the town and so might not be possible for camera to entirely cover the it.So if camera missed recording other hundred visitors, it would invalidated the evidence author provided.
Second, the popularity of a park also depens upon its location. Author mentioned that Caltron park situats in the heart of business district,which logically contributes to the high popularity. On the other hand, the argument does not indicate whether the Stanley park locates in the similar areas. If it located in the outside the urban aras, it would, on common sense, have lower popularity comparing to those in the cities. In addition to the location of the parks, author assumes that visitors in the park are for the socials without convincing evidence. But It is likely that people might just coincidently visit the park. In a consequence, these incomplete and unproven assumtions weaken the arguemnt.
In conclusion, had the author provided more concrete evidence other than subjective assumptions, the argument would have been more convincing; Or alternatively,If author had subsumed the assumption with complete and valid evidence, the claim would have been less controversial.
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Sentence: However, author assumes the nuumber of visitors is equivalent to the number of cars and consequently concludes the number of people visiting Staneley park on the basis of the number of cars recorded, whereas it is not the case when it come to the Caltron park.
Description: The fragment it come to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: Furthermore, irrespective of whether there are just fifty people who owned the cars visited the Stanley car park, it is inaccurate soley dependent upon the Video camera to record the numebr of visitors since cameras are unable to cover every single corners, particularly Stanley car is the biggest the park in the town and so might not be possible for camera to entirely cover the it.So if camera missed recording other hundred visitors, it would invalidated the evidence author provided.
Description: The tag an adjective, superlative is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to biggest and the
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to would and invalidated
Sentence: If it located in the outside the urban aras, it would, on common sense, have lower popularity comparing to those in the cities.
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to outside and the
Sentence: The argument suggests that the popularity of a park is relevant to whether it has the open area socializing, and by comparing Stanley park to Carlton park, author recommonds that the park with more space for socializing has higher popularity.
Error: recommonds Suggestion: recommends
Sentence: A causual reading of the statement seems convincing, but a careful inspection brings out some loopholes in the claim.
Error: causual Suggestion: casual
Sentence: First, the arugemnt recommonds that Stanley park's populairty, according the number of visiting cars recorded by the video camera, is dropping and by comparing to the number of visitors in the Caltron park is burdgeoning.
Error: populairty Suggestion: popularity
Error: burdgeoning Suggestion: burgeoning
Error: arugemnt Suggestion: argument
Error: recommonds Suggestion: recommends
Sentence: If two huandred people visited Stanley car park, but only fw of them owned the cars, the evidence that author provided is all but nonsense.
Error: huandred Suggestion: hundred
Error: fw Suggestion: few
Sentence: However, author assumes the nuumber of visitors is equivalent to the number of cars and consequently concludes the number of people visiting Staneley park on the basis of the number of cars recorded, whereas it is not the case when it come to the Caltron park.
Error: nuumber Suggestion: number
Sentence: Second, the popularity of a park also depens upon its location.
Error: depens Suggestion: depend
Sentence: Author mentioned that Caltron park situats in the heart of business district,which logically contributes to the high popularity.
Error: situats Suggestion: situate
Sentence: If it located in the outside the urban aras, it would, on common sense, have lower popularity comparing to those in the cities.
Error: aras Suggestion: areas
Sentence: But It is likely that people might just coincidently visit the park.
Error: coincidently Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In a consequence, these incomplete and unproven assumtions weaken the arguemnt.
Error: arguemnt Suggestion: argument
Error: assumtions Suggestion: assumptions
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2 (Hi pay attention to spellings)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2146 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.655 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5